stir

Some of my favorite things require a good stir every now and then:

my coffee

a good homemade soup

a fresh can of paint

What about our spirit? I don't know about you, but I certainly require a stirring of my faith from time to time. And what better way to do so than in relationship?

meet Melissa

More often than not, the stirring of our faith comes from doing life with one another... my friendship with Melissa is no different. I am continuously challenged by her faith and by her ability to be vulnerable with God, even in the most bleak of circumstances.

So when you're challenged to stay put instead of moving forward with God, find a stir. You'll probably find it in relationship, if they're Godly.

Life isn't meant to be done alone. And you never know, your journey may be clearing the path for someone else.

No words

Olive Hope Polinder went home to be with Jesus yesterday evening. Our hearts are filled with such overwhelming sadness as we think about the incredible loss Rusty and Lynette must feel after these long months of strife, heartache, miracles, and prayer. It seems there are not enough words in the universe to describe the impact this little life has had on our personal faith in recent months. I've been grasping for them for hours now, only to find an ocean of tears.

Olive was born at the end of September 2009 in Chaing Rai, Thailand, at only 28 weeks. When we heard of the need for prayer for her life, something captured both Jason and I and latched onto our hearts... Perhaps it was the leading of the Holy Spirit, perhaps it was our sensitivity to these new parents in need as we were desperate to become parents ourselves... probably both. And so we committed ourselves to fasting and prayer for tiny Olive Hope Polinder, oceans away but tied to our hearts in a way that only the love of God can explain.

About a year ago, I was diagnosed with a tumor in my brain that (among other things) the doctors said could keep us from having children. We were devastated. We stated our faith, sought the prayers of friends and family and our church, and kept moving on with life, but in all honesty, it was a battle we sincerely struggled with very privately. There were many days that our faith grew weak and our hope diminished, and we angrily stormed the gates of heaven with demands to understand the anguish that had been cast upon us.

And then Fall blew into our lives with its swift, cool winds, and one day we heard the desperate cry for prayer from the Polinder family. We watched our Savior perform miracle after miracle in Olive's body and our faith was strengthened... We were reminded that God can do the impossible. We were reminded of His goodness in all things, even when circumstances cast their dark and eerie shadows. Little did we know that in the very days that we first committed ourselves to prayer and fasting for little Olive Hope, a new life was being conceived within us.

We consider Olive to be such an integral part of our journey over these recent months. Today the words are hard to find and the tears come freely as we celebrate what her life meant to so many. When I meet her in heaven, I can't wait to find out if she knows that she restored faith in my soul and hope for my heart. I can't wait to see her dancing in the streets of heaven next to the life that I am carrying within me.

Olive's life was the perfect example of the very purpose of human creation: She brought glory and honor to God. We will never stop telling her story.

in a flash

July 6, 2006

I was driving home late tonight in the middle of one of the most amazing storms I have seen in quite some time. The lightning was spectacular. Huge raindrops were beating against my windshield and the road had that slick, wet glisten on it that makes it hard to see when it rains at night. But I didn’t mind driving slow—I was enjoying the lightning.

The lightning made me think about God, about the way he shows up in our lives sometimes. As I watched the jet black sky abruptly being lit up by bolts of electricity, I remembered all of the times that God has broken into my world—completely out of nowhere, when everything was dark and the rains poured all around me—unannounced, He was there.

With God, things have the potential to turn around in an instant. As I heard one pastor put it, "Trusting in God changes all the possibilities." I have come to realize that I never know just when an answer to my prayers is going to come. Time and time again, God sweeps in and lights up my world without warning.

I wrote this back in 2006, and while it’s been a while since I’ve seen a good lightning storm, I remember that night vividly. And almost four years later, the simple truth hasn’t changed (and it never will): God is waiting at every turn to break into our world.

So if the rains are pouring down, be encouraged. When the sky is dark, and your journey is slowed by the blinding downpour of life around you, turn on your headlights, watch carefully for glimpses of your Savior, and keep going forward. Trusting in God changes all the possibilities.

Let us not grow weary...

Galatians 6:9 (New International Version)

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

I couldn't get this verse off my mind today. Much of the reasoning is due to some difficult conversations Jason and I have been having about the struggles of leading a church and dedicating our lives to the calling of God to shepard His sheep. I had never thought before about the fact that shepards live their lives alone with their sheep.

Alone.

It's such a scary word. We've all been alone before.

As I think about this verse, I think about what it is to be alone, and what it is to be the community of Christ - the Church, to one another. To love, to share, to remember, to encourage. Maybe it's just to BE with someone. To help one another to not grow weary.

I think about Rusty, Lynette, and little Olive, and how they need our prayers just as much today as they did in the first struggling moments of Olive's life (you can read the beginning of Olive's story here).

Let us not become weary in doing good...

Olive, Lynette, and Rusty need us to not grow weary... We must press on. We must pray. Like the lone shepard, let us- the Church- tend to the flock given to us.

(You can read more updates about Olive at http://rustylynette.blogspot.com/)

Welcome Home Olive!

Have you heard? Little Olive is home in the United States!!!

http://rustylynette.blogspot.com

Advent Prayer by Henri Nouwen

Someone sent this to Rusty and Lynette, and seeing as Henri Nouwen is one of my all time favorites.... I just had to share it here too. Merry Christmas friends. May you find joy this season in His presence.

Lord Jesus, Master of both the light and the darkness
send your Holy Spirit upon us this season.

We who have much to do
seek quiet spaces to hear
Your voice each day.

We who are anxious over many things
look forward to Your coming among us.

We who are blessed in so many ways
long for the complete joy of Your kingdom.

We whose hearts are heavy
seek the joy of Your presence.

We are your people
walking in darkness, yet seeking the light.

To You we say, Come Lord Jesus.
Amen.

a different Christmas

We're doing Christmas a little differently around the Davis house this year. We have purchased three modest gifts. Only three. And they aren't for anyone that lives in the Davis house. You'd think our tree would look awfully bare, with no shiny, fancy packages under it. A little useless, right? Empty stockings? Was someone bad in the Davis house? No, we're just doing it all differently this time around.

Did you know that Americans spend an estimated $474.5 BILLION on Christmas each year? And that the average American will spend $935 on Christmas this year? Here's a breakdown that will (should) turn your stomach. The average American will spend, this year:

• $550 on gifts for family & friends (that's just ONE american!)
• $120 on themselves (HAVE to have that new Christmas outfit!)
• $70 on co-workers and miscellaneous others
• $41.50 on a Christmas tree
• $32.48 on Christmas cards & postage
• $22.61 on flowers
• $95.04 on food & candy
• $51.43 on decorations
• $960.50 on holiday travel for those who don't live near family

Jason and I decided to change up our Christmas many weeks ago. We've had many conversations about spending less to be able to give more. Giving to individuals who we know that are in need, yes, but also giving relationally, to one another, and to certain people in our lives. You see, the very first Christmas was a moment that broke the silence of 400 years... God's people had not heard him speak for ages. They were living in darkness. They were in need of a voice. They were in need of hope. And then, from Bethlehem, a baby cried out into the darkness. God was with them. When they needed a savior most, on their worst day, on their darkest night, God came, broke the silence, met their need, and dwelled among them.

We know families, not only in this community, but all across the world, who are living in silence this Christmas. They have had their worst day, and it replays each day after. They are living in darkness, and it is time for their silence to be broken.

Christmas was meant, from the very beginning, to be voice in the darkness, and an experience that makes us more like Christ. May yours be just that. It's more than enough.

Merry Christmas,

life keeps moving on...

Things are continuing to progress with Olive. You can check out the latest update over at Lynette & Rusty's blog: http://rustylynette.blogspot.com/

Little Olive is a fighter! Let's keep fighting with her in prayer.

Olive Updates...

More updates from Lynette over the last week on little Olive...

Get us out of here!

Thursday, December 3, 2009 at 9:29am

Rough and frustrating day.

This morning after we arrived to the hospital we were told we needed to leave the NICU while the neurosurgeon tapped Olive's head. Midway through the procedure the neonatologist came out to tell us that the neurosurgeon had changed his mind and decided to put in a temporary drain that would stay in for seven days. She told us the procedure was almost finished, and we started asking many questions. For one, WHY was he doing a different procedure than he had discussed with us yesterday without talking to us first? Especially because we had talked with him yesterday about our concerns with placing a temporary drain when Olive still has lingering signs of her infection (her WBC count and protein aren't yet back to normal since her meningitis). We were told by a neonatologist we trust from the States that this is not an ideal procedure given her current labs.

After he finished the procedure he came and talked to us. He said that the research shows the same rate of infection between intermittent tapping and a temporary drain...not what we have heard from other sources.

Throughout the day Olive's oxygen level wasn't as well as normal so they decided to increase her oxygen. She also had an increased heart rate with no signs of infection so they thought she was having pain from the procedure...things that didn't happen with the drain the last three times.

The doctors and nurses told me they would like to keep her in the incubator for the afternoon so that she could rest. I was feeling pretty frustrated as to why she couldn't rest in my arms so I asked the head doctor again and she said it would be ok to hold her. After holding her her oxygen saturation went up on its own and we could take her off of the oxygen they were giving her.

They had put tape all over her head to keep this drain in place and some of it was coming off and I could see the catheter from the drain was starting to come out. The neurosurgeon had tried to secure it with the nipple off a bottle and that was filled with moisture from Olive sweating. Warm and moist...a perfect breeding ground for bacteria. great.

So I showed the doctor that the catheter was coming out and pointed out the moisture. All the residents came over to look (7 of them) and after calling the neurosurgeon they decided to remove the drain later tonight to prevent infection. They decided to take out an additional 20 ml before removing it. In the morning they had only removed 5 ml...which I am still confused at why they would remove such a little amount.

The resident came to remove the drain, and Olive screamed through the whole thing as her hair was being pulled out by the crazy amount of tape they had put on her head. After the resident started draining the fluid, we noticed the tape on her head getting wet...not a good sign. By the time everything was finished and we were cleaning up the tech came to test the CSF fluid and pointed out that there were 53 ml of fluid in the container. That means that instead of draining the 20 ml of fluid as planned, somehow she didn't notice it continuing to drain and she ended up draining about 48 ml of fluid in a two minute period.

Earlier today they told me the max they can drain is 10 ml/kg every four hours. That would mean 17 ml of fluid every four hours. Clearly you can see this wasn't ideal. The doctor tried to play it cool and I was nervously looking at Olive. Her fontanel was EXTREMELY sunk in after everything was over. The resident then told the neonatologist what had happened and the neurosurgeon. They said the biggest things they worry about it dehydration, low blood pressure, and electrolyte imbalances. I have also been told before that they cannot remove the fluid too quickly or it can have serious implications on the brain.

I didn't want to put Olive back in her isolette tonight. The doctors went home and lots of new residents came on shift...who are usually confused and learning things for the first time. The nurses that were on tonight were also not the best ones of the group. Both things leaving me nervous.

Then one of the younger nurses came over and said in Thai, "Mother, you can hold her for ten more minutes and then you need to go home so that we nurses can work." So the nurses can work? Am I really bothering you that much by sitting here and holding Olive as she sleeps in my arms? Ten minutes later she returned to give me a lecture about visiting Olive too much and getting in the nurses way. I told her that I didn't understand, because the head nurse gave us the ok to visit her anytime we wanted. I said that it didn't seem to bother anyone but her. She said it would be better if we came less like the other parents and that our daughter's situation is better than the other babies in the room.

I wanted to tell her that I didn't want to be here. That Olive was supposed to go back to the States last week, but she got meningitis from her drain and couldn't leave. I wanted to tell her that in the NICU in America that the parents can visit anytime and research proves the benefits of it.

Let's just say that by the end of our conversation I was in tears and walking home. It took everything in me not to tell her what I really thought of her. Probably for the best.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring...but I am praying lots of prayers that Olive will be o.k. tonight despite the circumstances of today.


another day...

Friday, December 4, 2009 at 12:48pm

Olive did well overnight last night. Today after arriving at the hospital the head nurse asked us to talk to her in her office. She said she that last night she heard about last night's incidence with the nurse being rude and wanted to apologize. Apparently this isn't the first time this nurse has been aggressive with parents in the NICU, as well as other nurses on staff. She told me that she communicated with all the nurses that we are able to visit from 8 am to 8 pm, and that the nurse will be written up for her impolite behavior.

Around noon our doctor from the private hospital came to visit along with the two nurses who were going to travel back to the States with us last week. They asked how things were going and when they found out about all of the issues we have had with trying to remove fluid from Olive's head they were unpleasantly surprised. They suggested we talk directly with the head neurosurgeon about these issues.

We originally moved Olive to this hospital because the doctors at the private hospital spoke very highly of the neurosurgeon here. However, he has been either out of the country for the last month or too busy to be involved in Olive's case and sends his team instead of coming himself. We are not willing for Olive to continue to be an experiment for the residents to learn on, especially with procedures that will may affect her brain and long-term outcome. Since arriving here we have had her first drain cause meningitis, two poorly done lumbar punctures where only 6 ml of fluid was removed, and another poorly placed drain with major mistakes made when removing it. Something MUST change if we are going to stay here.

All this to say, tomorrow we have a meeting set up with the head neurosurgeon to talk about what the plan will be to continue removing fluid from Olive's head, and to request him to be the one to do these procedures rather than passing them off to his students. If this meeting doesn't go well, we will consider moving her back to a private hospital, even though the cost is 10 times greater.

This evening after visiting hours ended, we went with one of the NICU nurses to see Christmas lights downtown Bangkok in celebration of the king of Thailand. We had a really nice evening out together.

Sleep is beckoning me...

Hoping for a change.

Sun at 8:23am

Yesterday we met with the neurosurgeon and his team. We shared all of our frustrations with Olives' care so far, and our concern with her remaining here without a better plan in place.

Before leaving after the meeting he tapped Olive's head and removed 20 ml of fluid.

Apparently our neonatologist had training in the States before, and she has agreed to do tapping every two days to remove fluid. This seems to be a good option, better than having residents without much experience doing it, or waiting for the neurosurgeons to come who are extremely busy.

Tomorrow the neonatologist is going to do another tap. Rusty and I have agreed to give this hospital another 3-4 days and see how things go after having our meeting with the neurosurgeon and see if things improve. They are saying that if the protein continues to decrease in her CSF (cerebral spinal fluid), and she reaches 2 kg (4.4 lbs) then they would go ahead with the VP shunt surgery.

If after a few days we are still not feeling comfortable with the care we will most likely move her back to the private hospital.

over and out.

Olive and the teddy graham

Sorry for the delay in updates on Olive... This little teddy graham has kept me pretty knocked out lately.

Here are updates on Olive from Lynette over the last few days:

No more infection!
Thursday, November 26, 2009 at 10:50am
Olive had another lumbar puncture today and the results were very good. No more bacteria found in the sample, and the white blood cell count, protein, and sugar were all back to normal. She has been much more active and breathing on room air again without the help of any machines, so we are feeling very encouraged about this.

Rusty spent the morning holding her, and at lunch we swapped and I spent the afternoon holding her. Tonight after I put her back in her isolette she was crying, irritated and flinging her limbs in all directions. I took her back out and thought maybe she needed to be burped, but that didn't seem to help all too much. She probably cried for a good 15 minutes without calming down. Then I noticed her trying to shove her hand in her mouth, so I stuck my finger in her mouth and she started sucking away. We gave her a pacifier and she was suddenly comforted and fell asleep. This is the first day she has had a strong sucking reflex, so we are excited. We may be able to start trying to breast feed later in the week if she continues to stay strong and breath well on her own.

CT Scan
Saturday, November 28, 2009 at 7:23am
Today Olive's neurosurgeon came to look at her recent CT Scan (done yesterday) and explain the results to us. Her brain tissue continues to expand (!!!), and the clot from the previous hemorrhage continues to liquify. We are excited for every good news we get about her brain tissue continuing to expand, even if it is little by little. Olive also still has communicating hydrocephalus which means they can continue doing lumbar punctures every few days to relieve the pressure in her head.

As far as the results of her lumbar puncture, the CSF fluid contains no more bacteria or organisms so that is good news. The glucose level in her CSF fluid is also back to baseline. However, her protein and WBC count are still not back at the normal level. He said that this increase in protein causes her CSF fluid to be more viscous, which is why we need to wait to put in the VP shunt. If we did it now, the increased protein level could cause the shunt to clot and not work properly.

SOOOOO...the neurosurgeon is saying that we will wait on the WBC count to level out as well as the protein. Once those two lab values are in place we will consider putting in the VP shunt...maybe in another two weeks or so. And hoping that her weight is closer to 2 kg (4.4 lbs) by then.

If an opportunity to return to the States would arise before the surgery we would jump on it. Otherwise we will plan on being here for the surgery and recovery.

Last night I tried breast-feeding Olive with the help of the nurses and she was starting to get the hang of it. However, this morning when the neonatologist found out he wasn't too impressed. He says that it is very important for us to know her intake and output at this point, and he would like to wait on that. So...today there was no more of that.

Today I was looking at photos of Olive in her first days of life and couldn't believe how much she has changed in two months. She has been through so much in her short little life, especially to think that my due date isn't even until December 15th. We are so grateful for each day we've had with her and for the days ahead.

Olive - 2 days old

Olive - 2 months old

Livin it up in Bangkok
Mon at 9:05am
Olive had another lumbar puncture done today, and only 6 ml was removed because she was being squirmy and the resident couldn't keep the needle in. She only had 6 ml removed a few days ago too. From what I hear from the States, normally you release around 15 ml or above at a time, so I'm hoping they know what they are doing by releasing such a small amount.

Anyhoo...

Her protein level and WBC count in her CSF decreased more today (this is good news). Tonight she is getting a blood transfusion of packed red blood cells cause she was a little anemic. She was sucking away on her little pacifier when I left her tonight.

Rusty left for Chiang Rai this morning and will be there until Wednesday night taking care of some business with the sponsorship program and visiting friends.

So, I figure now that I'm all alone in Bangkok its time to live it up!

"Living it up" will most likely consist of visiting Olive at the hospital everyday, going out for a cappuccino with whip cream, and if I'm feeling real wild and crazy I might even start writing thank-you notes.

the word on the street.
Tuesday at 10:13am
I spent the day at the hospital with Olive today. Today she was pretty drowsy and not acting much like herself. This evening her oxygen saturation was on the low side of being o.k. so the residents decided to do another lumbar puncture. I was feeling anxious about having another resident do the procedure since the last two times they didn't do the best job and only removed 6 ml of CSF fluid.

I'm trying to find the balance of protecting Olive from being a resident's case to practice on, and being a patient's mother who isn't super annoying. I realize I am at a teaching hospital, but I am not a fan of Olive being someone's case to practice on...(insert nervous sigh here).

Olive cried through the whole thing. They removed 15 cc of fluid this time. After the procedure she seemed more like herself and spent a good 20 minutes alert and flinging her little limbs around. I held her for another hour before walking back to the apartment.

Tomorrow the neurosurgeons are planning on placing another temporary ventricular drain to remove more fluid.

The head neonatologist said it would be o.k. for me to begin trying to breast-feed Olive tomorrow, so I'm hoping things go o.k.

Rusty was able to be home for the rice harvesting at the AYDC in Chiang Rai today. All the parents of the kids came to participate so he was able to connect with a lot of them and share in eating some dog for lunch. : >)

The weather in the north is much colder than here in Bangkok. He is sleeping in a sleeping bag and comforter in Chiang Rai, and I am sweating down here in Bangkok as I listen to Christmas music.

Still no word on another flight being available to go back to the States anytime soon.

love,

Lynette

P.S. We have five breast pumps donated for the NICU in Chiang Rai, so we are set!

The little champ.
Today at 10:56am
Had a really good day with Olive today. This morning the opthamologist came and looked at her again and said he is still very pleased with the results and doesn't think she will be needing any further treatment. They will keep doing weekly checks to make sure things continue to stay on track with her vision.

This afternoon we started breast-feeding. Olive latched on like a little champ, and once she was on her eyes got huge and she looked really excited and unsure what to do about the milk coming out into her mouth. I was laughing at her little expression and trying not to scare her with my shaking. Her vitals stayed good, and she had no issues with her oxygen level dropping so the neonatologist gave us the go ahead to continue trying a little each day.

Today I also met with both the neurologist and neurosurgeon. Starting tomorrow morning they will do daily tapping to remove fluid from her head. From what I understand they just use a syringe and will remove between 10-30 ml of fluid each time.

Rusty will return tonight from Chiang Rai. He had a really good time connecting with friends there.

love,

Lynette

Thankful.

It’s rather typical to list off all of the things that we are grateful for at this time of year. But this time around, I am grateful for more, and in a deeper way, than I could have ever imagined at this time a year ago.

I am unwaveringly grateful for the incredible journey that the last year has taken me on. Coming out on the other side, it’s easier to say so; there were moments of great sorrow, deep disappointment, and bitter tears that I thought at times would never stop flowing. And nonetheless, there were moments of hope and joy, and the dawning of new friendships that would renew a part of my faith that had forgotten that God truly does care about the little things. And when the weight was too heavy to bear, there was my husband. My precious, God-seeking, devoted partner, softly speaking truth and hope. I couldn’t imagine a better companion on the dusty trails of this life.

This year has taught me to never be led by just my heart, but to be led by Truth confirmed in my heart. With the ups and downs of life, my heart keeps up pace, bouncing up and down in the tidal wave of emotion. But Truth does not change. This year I was reminded that the goodness of God is pursuing me, and no matter how long and exhausting the journey has seemed, God has been waiting to be good to me (Isaiah 30:18, the Message).

Less than three months ago, I was introduced to Evelyn. She was just three days old when I met her. Any newborn has the power to melt my heart, but Evelyn is something special. Evelyn’s life catapulted my faith in God in a way I didn’t even realize until the day I first held her in my arms. You see, Evelyn’s mommy was given the same diagnosis that I had been given during this past year… It involved a mass growing on the brain, and without proper treatment, one of the many side-effects was infertility. And yet, on a sparkling late-summer afternoon, there in my arms lay baby Evelyn. The fruit of God’s faithfulness.

In recent months, I stumbled upon another young and miraculous life, wrapped in the arms of an old friend and sister in Christ. Her name is Olive Hope. For the last two months my husband and I have prayed for Olive and her parents thousands of miles away, as they bear the weight of the world on their shoulders and watch their little one fight for life on a daily basis. As the world joins with us in prayer, we have seen miracle after miracle, and yet the journey is far from over. Olive has reminded me that God is faithful, and that God sees a picture that is much larger than the canvas of our own lives. She reminds me that ultimately, God will be glorified, and that alone is reason enough to be grateful for life, in any form or condition.

And here, in the midst of these miracles, tangled up in prayers for Evelyn and Olive Hope, a new life was created… and this time, the life was created and formed within ME.

"For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of Him." 1 Samuel 1:27

Your love Lord, truly does reach to the heavens. Your faithfulness leaps beyond the horizon and into the forgotten corners of my heart. You have pierced my heart with your goodness this year, and to you alone be the glory.

"Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations."
Psalm 100:4-5

Negative Nancy.

From Lynette

Today at 4:50am

Another day of ups and downs. Woke up this morning with a pit in my stomach having no clue what the doctors decision would be if we would be able to make our flight tomorrow or not. This morning after arriving we learned that she had a stable night and has been stable throughout the morning.

The opthamologist came and said he was happy with the results of her laser surgery and will come back to look at her eyes again in five days from now if we can't return to the States.

Around 9:00 a.m. they did a lumbar puncture to remove 10 ml of CSF fluid to help relieve some of her intracranial pressure and also to evaluate how well she is responding to her antibiotics. The team of one doctor and two nurses who would be traveling to the States with us came to look at her around noon and told us based on her vital signs that they think everything is a go. They said they just needed to evaluate the results of the CSF fluid. So, about one hour later they returned with the results with a concerned look on their faces. Apparently the glucose level was very low, and protein was higher than it should be. They didn't think she was fit to fly. They said they would consult with the infectious disease specialists to get a final opinion.

The team of infectious disease specialists said they were concerned about us not having a ventilator onboard the aircraft in the case of Olive having continued apnea. They also worry that if the meningitis continues to progress that she will start having more frequent seizures. They told us that meningitis can cause deafness, severe developmental problems, as well as seizure issues in SOME cases. Not very comforting news to hear.

So...all of the doctors involved in Olive's case are telling us she cannot fly. We had our hopes up so high to have Olive at such a great hospital, and to be near family and friends as we continue walking through this journey.

So here we are...lots of tears today, anger, and disappointment.

Today I'm feeling angry at God, and wondering why there continues to be more and more bad news. I can see lots of ugly places in myself too in all of this. I want to be grateful for the good things He is doing...like the positive report on Olive's eyes, and the simple fact that we are included in the small percentage of people in this world to have access to this level of healthcare.

I do miss my close friends that could just sit down beside me and grumble with me.

love to all of you...

Lynette

Dear Meningitis, I hate your guts.

From Lynette

Today at 10:09 am

Today had lots to tears to accompany it. The organism that they found in Olive's CSF fluid is Staphylococcus Aureus...which means she has meningitis. This was the first news we heard upon arriving at the hospital this morning.

Throughout the day Olive has had episodes of Apnea where she stops breathing and her heart rate drops. With the help of a little oxygen and patting her on the back, scratching the bottom or her feet, or rubbing her little cheeks her numbers eventually climb back up. The doctors are contributing this to her infection and say that hopefully by tomorrow night or Tuesday morning the clinical signs will start getting better once she has a few days of antibiotics in her system.

The problem with all of this is that we need her to be stable to take her on the flight planned for Tuesday morning at 11:00 am. Everything is set up and in place...except for Olive's current health status.

Tomorrow morning the doctor who would be traveling with Olive if we go to the States, is coming to the hospital to take a look at her and her labs to decide if she is fit to fly or not. They will be doing a lumbar puncture on Olive in the morning to assess the level of her current infection and also to remove 5 ml of CSF to help decrease her intracranial pressure. According to one neonatologist we have been talking with in the States, if they are able to control her infection by Tuesday and her vital signs stabilize she should be able to still make this flight.

Another issue that we haven't yet been able to discuss with her neurosurgeon (because he has been in Japan for the last week) is how they are going to go about reducing her intracranial pressure now that she has an infection...(insert a deep tired sigh here).

We are crawling into bed tonight feeling emotionally drained and down in the dumps. I'm not sure what you should be praying for at this point...maybe for the antibiotics to destroy all of the bacteria in her system so that her clinical symptoms improve by tomorrow? Or maybe pray that if this doesn't happen we will have the strength to embrace the next step if that means we need to stay here longer.

Love,

Lynette

Auction for Olive - Bidding Starts Tomorrow!!!

With thousands following the journey God is taking Rusty, Lynette and Olive on, many of us are continually thinking about them and praying for them. Also, many have given generously to the Olive Hope Care Fund that has been set up. As medical bills continue to add up, two wonderful mom's have created another way to increase the finances in that fund. During the next week, people from around the world have been invited to participate in the Auction for Olive. There are a couple ways you can participate.

1.) Auction off something, ANYTHING! Here are the basics:

• If you want to donate an item please email Becky at simplyenjoyphotography@gmail.com or Cindy at cindya@me.com with a complete description of the item you are donating, and a picture if possible. If you have a blog with the item on it send us your web address along with the description.
• An example of an item could be "Olive's Grandma Co will lovingly make you a plateful of her delicious chocolate chip cookies once a month for a year. Living in Lynden will make delivery easier but I'm sure other arrangements could be made"
• All items will be auctioned off via the website linked above
  
• Shipping costs of donated items are the responsibility of the donor.
• Once the auction ends and item is paid for we will connect the donor with the buyer.
• Bidding will begin Sunday, November 22 at 9:00 p.m. PST and end on Saturday, November 28 at 9:00 p.m. PST

2.) Bid on items during the auction. For the auction to be successful, there must be bidders! As the holidays are coming closer and we think about Christmas shopping, this would be a great way to get your shopping done and support Rusty and Lynette.

3.) Do both!!

Pages of great items are already listed for the auction! Take a look today & begin bidding tomorrow!
http://auctionforolive.blogspot.com

A dirty little organism.

From Lynette

Today at 7:16am

Yesterday the doctors were pleased with how Olive's laser eye surgery went. After being on anesthesia she was throwing up so she had to be NPO (have nothing by mouth) for the day. Today they have her back on feedings, but she still needs to be on an IV again.

This morning we arrived to the hospital to learn that the doctors were getting ready to test her CSF (cerebral spinal fluid) for any organisms to assess for infection (a common complication of the drain in her head). The test came back as positive for bacteria so they had to remove the drain immediatly and start her on two different IV antibiotics. We were hoping she would be free from infection and that the drain would be able to stay in until the day we left for the States, so now we are unsure exactly how they will handle this.

Now that she is getting IV antibiotics she needs an IV in all the time. Olive has the smallest most fragile veins, so getting an IV in her is VERY difficult. Tonight the nurses tried about 6 times unsuccessfully. We held her and sang to her for while before handing her back to them and heading home. I'm hoping by now they have an IV in her.

Tomorrow the opthamologist will come to assess her eyes again which I'm not looking forward to. They put these little metal clips on her eyelids to pull them back for he examination and it looks so uncomfortable. She crys every time they do this...poor little thing.


At this point they are saying she should still be able to go home on the 24th despite the current complications. Rusty has been busy on the phone with the nurses and doctor who will be accompanying us, those helping with the flight back to the States, and with insurance. We are so thankful to those of you who have given to the Olive Hope Care Fund. It has made it possible for us to pay for the doctor and nurses accompanying us to the States as well as their plane tickets back to Thailand.

We have heard so many good things about the DeVos children's hospital in Grand Rapids and are anxious to get her there sooner than later. At the hospital we are currently at, we rarely see an attending doctor...I think we've seen one twice since arriving 1.5 weeks ago. Otherwise its all residents making the decisions. I think they are very good at what they do, but I would feel much more comfortable if I got to see an attending at least once a day.

The last two days have been rough emotionally for both of us and we are feeling pretty drained. We wish so badly life could be easier for Olive. She is a little fighter, but she's also a weak little thing who I wish could just be cuddled like a normal little baby without dealing with all the daily procedures that make her so uncomfortable.

Life these days continues to be unpredictable. Trying to look for things to be thankful for each day and not be swallowed up by the things that seem overwhelming and out of our control.

Much love,

Lynette

From Rusty
Today at 3 a.m.

Surgery is finished: Good news, all went well. Olive is such a little fighter. We are now praying that she will remain stable so we can get to Grand Rapids on the 24th. Olive will be going to DeVos Childrens Hospital. We are very thankful to the Dick DeVos Family. They have been on Olive's team from the start. All of you have been on this Journey with us. We are so thankful! Rusty

The Many Faces of Olive

These pictures are to die for... love this little one!

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=883256&id=1054808187&l=4cb8f58a8b

Eye Surgery for Olive... within 24 hours

From Lynette

Today at 5:14am

This afternoon we were with Olive at the hospital when we were told today they were going to do the routine eye examination on her to assess for blindness. Rusty and I were both feeling pretty nervous and praying throughout the day that this would turn out better than our last doctor in Chiang Rai predicted. Three residents came in to check her and then called for the head opthamoligist to come and assess her. After he arrived he told us that based on the findings she will need to undergo immediate treatment by laser or cryotherapy surgery in the morning. The doctor told us that if they were to wait too long, or not do this surgery that she will be blind in the future. If they go ahead with it they can prevent this complication, but as with anything there are risks of doing this as well. Another retinal specialist came to confirm the findings and the pediatric team said she will be ok to go under general anesthesia for the procedure.

So here we wait..anxiously and nervously...but still grateful to be in a place where she can recieve the care that she needs.

If all goes well she will still be able to leave for the States on Tuesday.

Much love,

Lynette

Precious little one...

Look at this little bundle of love!

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23

Coming Home?

From Lynette
Today at 6:00am

Its been a few days since our last update. Most of our time has been filled with being at the hospital holding Olive and spending time with her. There are many financial benefits (more affordable care) of being here at the government hospital, but along with the benefits come the downsides. The doctors here are overworked, which means sometimes you have to wait for their availability for procedures, wait for a spot in the operating room, etc. She has been without a drain in her head for the last six days, and each day her head circumference has continued to increase. Yesterday we were told by the residents that the doctor was coming to put in another drain around 2:00 pm. After waiting at the hospital, we finally got a phone call around 7:00 pm that he had other surgeries and wouldn't be available for 24 more hours. Today I was told he was coming to look at her at 1:00 pm, and instead he came at 6:30 pm. We've been trying our best to practice our patience...especially since there is not much else we can do. At this point we are hoping that Olive continues to remain stable and if so Olive will be flown back to the States around the 23rd of this month with one Thai doctor and two Thai nurses at her side.

Tonight the neurosurgeon inserted another ventricular drain and the plan is to keep it in until we leave on the 23rd. If she were to get an infection from the drain, then our plans may change once again, and we may be staying here longer.

Thank-you for your continued support and prayers.

Love,

Lynette

Another Ultrasound

From Lynette
Today at 9:05am

Dear friends,

This morning the neurosurgeon did another ultrasound and he was pleased with the results. He said that her brain tissue is continuing to expand and he was also pleased with how active she has been. For the last two days she has been breathing only room air, so that is also good news!

They are considering trying to switch all of her medicines to go through her ng tube and remove her IVs now that she is getting 22 ml of my milk 8 times a day. This way they won't have to keep poking her.

We are feeling encouraged as we crawl into bed tonight.

love,

Lynette

Olive is on the Move!

From Lynette

Today at 4:22 am

The last few days have been a rollarcoaster of ups and downs and we have had little time to be online. I mentioned in the last post that there was a possibility of us heading to the States at the end of this week on a commercial flight, but that looks like it may not work out once again due to technical difficulties with the oxygen we will need along the way. However, there appears to be another possibility hovering in the distance to fly Olive home in 1.5 weeks. Yesterday a bed opened up for Olive at the government army hospital and she was transferred yesterday morning.

Tuesday night I flew up to Chiang Rai for 24 hours to pack up our things and say good-bye to our friends there. I woke up at 6:00 am to spend some time with the kids at the Akha Youth Development Center before they left for school at 7:00 am. They all had lots of questions for me about Olive, and when they would get to see her. After that I spent the morning/afternoon talking and packing up our things with Ghan, Blah, Ae, P Thim (some of my close Akha friends) and Libby at my house. In the afternoon/evening we spent time with the older kids from the AYDC in town, stopped in to visit the NICU nurses at Chiang Rai Regional Hospital, then off to a quick dinner with more close friends before going back to the airport to fly to Bangkok. I was unable to see everyone I was hoping to see, but the time was very limited. The day was full of emotions. A deep thankfulness for the friendships we have made here in Chiang Rai...anxiety for not being near Olive during her transfer to the government hospital...and then all of the unknowns hanging in the air about what the future will hold. At this point we are unsure if we will be going back to the States on a short or long-term basis. It will all depend on what Olive's needs will be in the future. It's hard to know how to process things when the future is so unknown. Time to return to the reminder that all we can do is take things one day at a time--one hour at a time.

Last night I landed in Bangkok about 11:15 pm and Rusty met me at the airport. We then went to the government hospital so that I could see where Olive was. When I came in she was crying and the nurses were all busy. Olive just started crying this last week more consistently when she is in pain or uncomfortable. I realize this is a good and normal sign, but also really hard to see when you aren't able to make her feel better. She had an IV inserted into a vein in her head because they were having issues getting it in her legs and arms. The nurses were friendly, but very professional and kindly reminded us that it was okay to be there for a few minutes but that it was not visiting hours. We walked home feeling anxious to have her in a new place once again.

Yesterday after transferring Olive to the army hospital Rusty broke down crying in front of the nurses and was just feeling overwhelmed...feeling sorry for Olive...worried about having her in a new place once again. This morning when we came in to see Olive the head nurse told us that we are going to be able to visit her any time we would like, and said they know our situation has been very stressful. The head nurse told me that she spent 2 months studying in Chicago at UIC...the same school I graduated from for my nursing degree. Today has been wonderful. The nurses are very kind and have been encouraging us to hold Olive as often as we would like. It's been fun to be back in a government NICU setting where we can mingle and chat with the nurses.

We had a meeting with the neurosurgeon this morning and he agreed that he would like to postpone placing the VP shunt (major surgery) as long as possible (ideally until she reaches 4.4 lbs.) and he will continue to try temporary measures to relieve the pressure in Olive's head in the meantime. He said he thinks Olive is stable enough to go ahead with the major surgery now, but will wait longer to lesson the risk of complications.

Olive has been breathing well on room air all day, so we are encouraged by this.

We are so thankful for your prayers, verbal support, and incredible generosity.

Much love,

Lynette

Please don't forget to visit, donate, and bid in the Auction for Olive!!! http://auctionforolive.blogspot.com

Bidding begins Sunday, November 22nd (just by commenting and placing your bid on the item you choose), and ends on Saturday, November 28th. Please join us in this creative way to raise financial support for the Polinders, and get a few Christmas gifts along the way!!!

Quick Update

From Lynette
Today at 12:00am

Well, a few days ago the doctors told us that Olive is doing better than they expected after removing her first temporary drain. She is able to control her body temperature much better, and is off the ventilator--though still getting a little oxygen. They said because of this, that evacuating her to the States is another possibility again since she wouldn't have to be in an isolette on a stretcher (which was a previous issue for taking her on a commercial flight.

They are also saying that they would like to ideally wait on putting in the VP shunt until she gains more weight (2 kg or 4.4 lbs).

Over the last 2 days her head circumference continued to grow so yesterday they placed another temporary 7 day drain. If she remains stable there is a chance we will take a commercial flight with her to the States along with a doctor and nurse at the end of these seven days. If she would get an infection, or her condition would deteriorate at all, then we will plan on staying here in Thailand for her next treatment.

We are still waiting on a bed at the government hospital to open up, but if it does open up we aren't exactly sure if we will take that spot or stay here... it will all depend of what the plan is for her next step.

Today we are supposed to have a meeting with the director of the hospital to discuss a plan of care for her at this point. Some good news is that Olive's neurologist said that her brain tissue is beginning to expand again a little after removing the fluid. The more it expands, the better her prognosis for the future will be.

We will keep you updated when we are a bit more certain what is going on ourselves.

MUCH LOVE,

Lynette

Auction for Olive - You're Invited!

With thousands following the journey God is taking Rusty, Lynette and Olive on, many of us are continually thinking about them and praying for them. Also, many have given generously to the Olive Hope Care Fund that has been set up. As medical bills continue to add up we're hoping to add another way to increase the finances in that fund. We are hoping that many of you will start thinking creatively for ways to participate in the Auction for Olive. There are a couple ways you can participate.

1.) Auction off something, ANYTHING! Here are the basics:

• If you want to donate an item please email Becky at simplyenjoyphotography@gmail.com or Cindy at cindya@me.com with a complete description of the item you are donating and a picture if possible. If you have a blog with the item on it send us your web address along with the description.
• An example of an item could be "Olive's Grandma Co will lovingly make you a plateful of her delicious chocolate chip cookies once a month for a year. Living in Lynden will make delivery easier but I'm sure other arrangements could be made"
• All items will be auctioned off via the website linked above
  
• Shipping costs of donated items are the responsibility of the donor.
• Once the auction ends and item is paid for we will connect the donor with the buyer.
• Bidding will begin Sunday, November 22 at 9:00 p.m. PST and end on Saturday, November 28 at 9:00 p.m. PST

2.) Bid on items during the auction. As the holidays are coming closer and we think about Christmas shopping this would be a great way to get your shopping done and support Rusty and Lynette.

3.) Do both!!

Items are already listed for the auction! Submit yours or begin bidding today!
http://auctionforolive.blogspot.com

No Drain!

From Lynette
Today at 6:10 a.m.

Olive is off the ventilator and the drain is out. Her head circumference has not grown in 48 hours so we are happy about that. The neurosurgeon told us that over the last 7 days they removed about 400 ml of fluid from her head. Craziness! I was able to finally hold her quite a bit today now that the drain is out.