Thoughts from Lynette's Mom

Lynette's mom posted this on her blog on October 8th:

Our plane tickets will bring us back to Chicago O'Hare October 10. Our hearts will still be in Chaing Rai Thailand with Rusty, Lynette, Olive, Libby, Luka, Ghan, and all the rest of their friends. WE have eaten and cried with many of their friends. We have grown to love Lynette's Thai teacher, who doesn't share her faith, but is such a precious friend..

For myself I need to say, "God, we have the faith that you can heal this little miracle completely if you have a "mission and a reason you think she should be on this earth." God, if you feel that you can be glorified more by taking her home to Heaven, we will be willing to release her, but we thank you so much for this time that you have granted her to be with us to bond and to be touched.

We encouraged Lynette to begin to take the time to heal, rest and so yesterday we asked her to go to the hotel and sleep. Her milk is coming in as though there were plenty of tomorrows. Lynette told her Neonatal Dr and Neurosurgeon that she struggles with insisting her child get surgery when other babies in ICU have a better chance of survival. We know that according to our American doctors that reviewed Olive's case, she has a very grim prognosis. The doctors were so touched, and it is the first time I saw her Doctor put aside her clinical manner and put her arm around Lynette. I think they are just amazed because they are used to us "pushy" Americans getting everything we want.

We are at the mercy of a great and powerful and loving God. I continue to ask God if he doesn't want to do a miracle healing for Baby Olive. We will leave tomorrow leaving part of our heart in Thailand with our children and granddaughter. We will be passing the baton on to Rusty's family to continue "loving on" Rusty and Lynette and helping hold up their weary hearts with day by day decisions.

Lynette held Baby Olive last evening skin to skin. Her ventilator was turned down to 20 (it has been as high as 50 at times. The Doctor has been turning it down every day just a little to see what Baby Olive's lungs can do on their own, and the dear little heart keeps being able to beat at between 49 and 60. No antibiotics have been able to change the high WBC's. But the little blackened toe is beginning to heal....this is the one they thought they might have to cut off. I told Lynette that I'm tired of seeing her poked with needles every day.

We have only one more full day here. In this short time, we have bonded with other ICU parents and it is going to be very hard to come home, but for the sake of the clinic, and the Mission God has called us to, we must. I'm not sure the IRS would be happy if I didn't pay them on time. We are so glad we extended our trip from 1 week to 10 days. Every day has been an important one..

Just know that we have appreciated the faith of our Christian friends all over the world. Our faith in a Loving God is just as strong as it has ever been. We are also aware that He has a Bigger Plan for Olive's life and He is an ALL KNOWING God who knows what is best for this precious little Girl. Whatever God chooses to do with baby Olive, I am choosing to accept. I personally pray for a miracle every morning when I sing and pray over Olive, but I believe God has a bigger plan than I can see for Olive and we are trying to accept what is best for her life.

Sometimes God gives us what we insist on. But today I choose to ask him for what is best for Olive Hope, not for the Polinders or for the Millers. If you find it in your hearts to pray with us, we would love to have complete healing for our dear Olive Hope, but we also want God's perfect plan for our little Olive Hope, and only our Great, All Powerful, All Loving, and All Knowing God can give that to Olive Hope Polinder today.

Fear of tomorrow kept me from freely touching and holding this precious bundle. It was such a joy to hold this little gift today. And we are so happy the doctor's are giving Baby Olive the colostrum Lynette saved.

This experience has brought me closer to a Loving holy God. I will forever be grateful for having met and touched Olive Hope. And now very soon, we will need to say goodbye to Olive and go back home. Our little grandson's Zion and Tyler have both had birthdays since we are here. Our hearts are with our other grandsons as well. None of our grandchildren live with us, but they are always in our hearts.

Carol

Threads

The only update I have this morning is this quick update from Lynette: "More difficult news and decisions today. We are hanging on by threads..."

I am asking you to continue to pray. The average daily visits to this blog have more than tripled since the beginning of Olive's story, so I know the need is being heard, and today I encourage you, please don't let this baby's need be a spectator sport. Thank you so much to everyone who has been daily (and more) lifting up little Olive and Lynette and Rusty in prayer. This is what the body of Christ is about. If we ever thought "the church" was about a building, traditions, songs, 'getting our fill' or even a social club, we were wrong. The church is about wrapping ourselves around those in need, and being Christ to them. Today Lynette and Rusty need the Church more than ever.

Insurance Update

Note from Rusty:

"I, Rusty, just got off the phone with Aetna, and they are raising the level to $25,000. It helps, but it still sucks! Please pray for sleep for Lynette and I. Love you all."

Rough Day for Olive & Insurance Issues

Below are the latest updates from Lynette. They need our prayers just as much now as they did days ago.

Dear friends and family,

Each day we feel like Jesus has given us just enough strength to get through the day...today is a day where I feel like I'm on the verge of breaking down with each new piece of news the doctors give us.

We arrived this morning to the hospital to find out that after a chest x-ray last night they found infiltrates in Olive's lungs, and they diagnosed her with pneumonia. She has also lost her bowel sounds and has been having quite a bit of gastric residual in her stomach so they have stopped giving her colostrum until her little digestive system starts up again.

Her WBC count has increased...most likely due to the infection in her lungs.

This morning we started making phone calls to our insurance company (Talent Trust Insurance) which is under Aetna and got a return phone call that they have looked over her information and talked on the phone with our neonatologist and brain surgeon. The insurance company thinks we need to move Olive to a private hospital in Bangkok ASAP, and both doctors agree that she is stable enough and would recommend this as well. They would pay for her to be flown with a medical team to this top children's hospital.

However, they are telling us that the cap for coverage for newborn care is 10,000 US dollars...which is RIDICULOUS. That will barely cover her for three days down there at this other hospital. We have been on the phone with insurance ALL day so far and Rusty is finally talking to the top supervisors who know all about our situation and will make a decision if she will be fully covered or not around 4 this afternoon. Our medivac team is on hold until we find out if she will be covered by insurance and if they tell us she is covered she will be transfered most likely tomorrow. If she is not covered we will be staying here at our current hospital.

We are at the end of ourselves today...I'm so worried about the infections in her little body...and then to add the stress of a transfer...and an imminent surgery. Everything feels out of our own control. We are waiting for an answer and praying for peace to surround us in the midst of this chaos and worry. We know Jesus has a plan...it has just been a day where trusting that plan feels more difficult. No matter the outcome we will continue to serve Him...the one who entrusted Olive to us as a gift.

Thank-you for your prayers.

Love,

Lynette

**********

Dear friends and family,

I just got off the phone with Rusty. Insurance will only pay for the medivac team and not more than 10,000 US dollars above that. For now we will be staying at Chiang Rai Regional Hospital and looking into options. Feeling in shock about this insurance coverage. Can't even wrap my mind around the person who wrote that policy.

Love,

Lynette

Update from Olive's Ultrasound and CT Scan...

Friends, Thank you so much for your prayers for Olive. Feel free to leave a note here for Lynette & Rusty, a prayer, or a few words of encouragement. I would be happy to pass them along. We all know how words of encouragement can be just the light we need in the darkness.

***********

Update from Lynette:

Dear friends and family,

We had a very intense day today and are feeling pretty drained. This morning Olive had an ultrasound of her brain to assess if there was any further bleeding, or an increase in fluid around the brain. The results showed that there has been no additional bleeding. However, the area with the bleeding has not absorbed back into the circulation of the brain causing an obstruction in the cerebral spinal fluid. This increase in fluid around the brain (hydrocephalus) is causing some pressure on the brain, as well as an increase in her head circumference. After the ultrasound this morning the brain surgeon decided to send Olive for a CT Scan of the brain to see more clearly what is going on. The CT scan confirmed what they had seen in the ultrasound.

The doctor told us that the treatment will be to place a temporary shunt/drain into her head to remove some of this fluid. He says there is a small chance that it could resolve on its own if her body would absorb the blood from the hemorrhage, but he suggested getting arrangements in place for surgery in case that becomes the only option. The good news is that because her head is so soft, and her fontanels haven't yet closed it will allow her head circumference to increase and make room for this fluid...and the brain surgeon said it is not an emergency surgery, but suggested within the next week or so we would take action.

Currently Olive has an infection in her blood, though she received antibiotics for it. We will wait to see the results of her CBC (Complete Blood Count) tomorrow to see if her WBC (white blood cell) count has gone down at all, which would show a decrease in infection in her body. Worries from the doctor about giving her this shunt are that she has such weak immune system, she is only 1.295 kg, and fears of using anesthesia for a pre-term 28 week old baby. There is of course an increase in the risk of infection with any surgery.

Good news for the day...her bilirubin levels have dropped and she is no longer under photo-therapy. She continues to do well on the colostrum and day by day they have been increasing her intake. Today she was only receiving 21-25% oxygen. Her heart rate and blood oxygen level remained stable all day. They have also changed the ventilator settings to make her use her little lungs more and she is adjusting well and making good progress.

Tomorrow we will be writing up reports of all of her treatments, diagnosis, and test results and making phone calls to doctors here in Thailand, as well as neonatologists and brain surgeons we have been recommended to contact by our friends and families in the States. We will then be trying to figure out where the best place for her treatment will be, and finding a neurosurgeon who has had experience placing shunts in pre-term babies...as well as finding anesthesiologists who have experience with pre-term babies. Pray for wisdom as we make these decisions.

We have also been trying to sort out lots of details with our insurance, so please pray for this as well.

We are so thankful to have my mom and dad here during this time and for all of the love and support they are giving us. Our dear friend Ghan also stayed with us all day helping us with translating during our meetings with the neonatologist and brain surgeon. Bethany and Libby have been so helpful in so many ways too. Sherry Palsrok is also here as a support which has meant a lot to us. I could keep going and mentioning those in this community who have been so thoughtful during this time but my list would get too long for tonight.

We want to thank so many of you who spent time in prayer for Olive this morning. We continue to ask Jesus to touch her little body...to fight against infection, and to protect her brain despite these complications. We also have been thankful for the good signs we are seeing with her respiratory system and digestive system. We continue to have hope for this little one...

Much love,

Lynette

Update and New Prayer Requests for Olive

Update from Lynette 10/4/09:

Olive continues to respond well to colostrum. Today she remained stable. Her WBCs have increased showing more infection in her little body. Please pray for this. Also tomorrow she will have another ultrasound to assess the brain hemorrhage another time. We are feeling anxious as we head to bed for the decisions that will need to be made in the morning.

Note from Lynette 10/3/09:

Dear friends and family,

We continue to be overwhelmed by the number of people praying for Olive and us during this time. I'm not sure if I have ever sensed Christ's body around the world coming together to pray for someone. Daily we are overwhelmed to tears while reading e-mails, prayers, poems, and words of encouragement from close friends and even strangers. We have churches praying for Olive all over the US, Canada, Nepal, Akha villages here in Thailand, the underground church in Vietnam, churches in Korea, churches on the Navajo reservation in New Mexico, England...and the list continues. Friends of mine who haven't prayed in months or years have been praying for her numerous times a day.

The week has been the biggest emotional rollar coaster we have ever experienced. At the beginning of the week we were talking with the doctors about letting her go, for fear of her little body suffering so much...and then we saw answers to prayers and her condition improving little by little each day. She had every complication in the book, and yet her condition continues to stabilize. She is continuing to respond well to the colostrum, and today the doctor increased her intake to 1 cc/6 times a day. She had another stool today which is evidence that her little digestive system is working well. Her platelet count is normal, as well as her hematocrit and hemoglobin. Her bilirubin levels continue to drop. She has retained the ability to blink and close her eyes as she sleeps. Today they had her on room air for most of the day (21% oxygen)...and receiving 25% for part of the day, and her O2 blood saturation levels remained between 89-96% which is great news.

The current concern is that each day her head circumference continues to increase little by little. Tomorrow morning at 9:00 am (Sunday evening for those of you in the States) we have another ultrasound on her brain to assess the current state of swelling. How I understand it is that with the bleeding she experienced in her brain, her little head is compensating for that increase in space and expanding to reduce the pressure. After the ultrasound in the morning we will sit down to have a meeting with the brain surgeon, neonatologist, and another specialist. We will then talk about the next step in planning for her treatment...if the hospital here is adequate to care for her or if we will need to transfer her to another hospital in Chiang Mai, Bangkok, or the States if she is stable enough.

We are feeling anxious about the ultrasound in the morning, and would ask your prayers for us. Pray against infection for Olive as she is transported to the ultrasound room. We are in a hospital overwhelmed by patients over flowing into the hallways where we walk through to get to the ultrasound room.

We have grown to really love and respect the nurses caring for Olive. They have been so attentive to her needs, and we have much trust in their wisdom in caring for her. We have also grown to trust the doctor caring for her.

Culturally here in Thailand children with disabilities are looked down upon. I remember volunteering at an orphanage outside of Bangkok eight years ago and watching monks come and visit the hundreds of mentally handicapped children and tell them, "If you do better in this life, your next life will be better." Earlier this week our doctor, Thai friend, and two nurses sat us down for a meeting and asked if we wanted to go ahead and give Olive platelets that she needed and a new antibiotic, or if we would like to withhold the treatment and "let her go." They all encouraged us to "let her go" and withhold the treatment and said she would have about a week before her little body would shut down. They told us that if she survives and is handicapped and possibly blind it would be unfair to her. We cried a lot during that meeting, prayed, and went with our hearts....to continue treatment and commit to caring for her...unless we come to a point where we feel her little body can't undergo any more aggressive treatment.

We go through our days asking for more miracles...more healing of damaged cells, and quality of life for this little one.

Love,

Lynette and Rusty

--This song has been on my mind all day..."You are Still Holy" by Kari Jobe

Holy, You are still holy even when the darkness surrounds my life
Sovereign, You are still sovereign even when confusion has blinded my eyes

And Lord I don't deserve Your kind affection
When my unbelief has kept me from Your touch
I want my life to be a pure reflection of Your love

And so I come into your chambers and I dance at your feet Lord
You are my Savior and I'm at Your mercy
All that has been in my life up till now belongs to You
You are still holy.

Holy, You are still holy even when I don't understand your ways
Sovereign, you are still sovereign even when my circumstances don't change
And Lord I don't deserve Your kind affection
When my unbelief has kept me from Your touch
I want my life to be a pure devotion to You.

Answered Prayers for Olive Hope

Here are updates on sweet Baby Olive Hope from the last two days. I am so excited to hear today's news! This is has been exactly my prayer! THANK YOU for joining with us in prayer for this precious one. God is not finished.

10/1/09
Much better day. Olive was very happy to meet her Grandpa and Grandma Miller. She was very responsive today. She does have swelling in her brain, and we are concerned so please just pray that God will continue to heal her. Lynette slept for 10 hours ...and is now with Olive. I used to think facebook was a waste of my time, but now im so thankful for it! You have been our strength friends and family! Rustin

10/2/09
Today Olive regained the ability to blink and could sleep with her little eyes closed. She also had one stool and had bowel sounds!!!! She will undergo another ultrasound of her brain on Monday to assess if she has had any more bleeding. Her head circumference is growing, so please pray for this. I have a cold so was not able to hold her for the last two days...please pray for my health.



A Note for Olive (from her mommy)

Oh my little Olive...you are so precious to me. Your little toes to your chin-and those tiny little fingernails. Every part of you was perfectly formed. I am heartbroken to not have you inside of me where you belong right now...getting your nourishment from my body rather than from this IV hanging next to your little isolate.

I can't stop thinking about you when I am near you or away. I pray each day that Jesus would be the hands holding you close when I'm unable to. Today I've been feeling sick so I'm scared to get close to you, but everything in me wants to be holding you close to me and singing to you.

Olive there are so many people praying for you around the world. So many people bringing requests to the FAther that your little body would continue to be renewed and restored. I am praying for a release of pressure on your little brain, for the swelling to decrease, and for the damaged cells and blood vessels to be made new and healthy. I've also been praying that your precious little eyelids would be able to close--and today they did!!! You were opening and closing your little eyes intentionally.

The nurses heard bowel sounds over the last two shifts and I was told this morning that you had a stool. I almost jumped on the doctor when she told me because I was so excited. The doctor says that when you stop having gastric contents come out of your ng tube that they can give you some colostrum that I have frozen. Today you only had a little come out this morning...

I am hoping and longing for the day when I can cuddle with you in my own bed...without all of these tubes coming out of you...and give you the milk my body has been making for you. I am dreaming of the day when I will be able to hear your little lungs breathing on their own...to hear the sound of your little cry.

Grandma and Grandpa Miller are here now and have already fallen in love with you. Grandma has even been trying to give you little foot treatments which we are not surprised about. :>)

Bethany, Libby, Jan, Janya, Sherry, Grandma, Grandpa, Daddy and I have been taking turns sitting next to you so that you don't feel alone...and so that your mother can rest knowing someone will call me if you are having any problems. The nurses here are taking such good care of you. I told them your name yesterday and they told me that they call you "Lucy." I laughed when I heard that, but still think its pretty cute.

You are my little love, my little Olive Hope and I hope you can sense how loved you are.

Bethany gave me these verses yesterday that we taped onto your bed and I have been reading them over and over.

"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make [Olive] dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8

"...He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed He who watches over [Olive] will neither slumber nor sleep." Psalm 3:4