Portraits of Grace. Stories of Us.

delayed gratification

2011-04-27T16:34:00.010-05:00

I posted this online this morning:

"It's almost May. So many things are wrong with this picture."

My sweet sister-in-law responded, saying “Spring is definitely an exercise in delayed gratification for you up north, isn’t it?”

Boy was she right on. Spring in the Chicagoland is not for the faint of heart.

She got me thinking about delayed gratification and how absolutely terrible I can be at it. I’m waiting on a lot of things right now, and Spring is the least of them. You're probably waiting too. Waiting for things like the right words, answers to lingering questions, fulfillment of dreams, truth to be revealed beyond falsehoods, justice, healing… the list goes on.

We’re all waiting. But this morning, I was reminded that even when our questions give way to nothing but the bare branches of delay, there is hope. There is peace to be found while we wait in the drenching, saturating rain... The rain that leaks into the depths of our being and somehow makes all things new... The rain that will eventually dissipate under the glow of the warm and shining sun.

"And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
James 1:4 ESV
. . .

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."
Galatians 6:9 NIV
. . .

"Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act..."
Psalm 37:7 NLV
. . .

thoughts from the student driver

2011-03-30T15:52:00.007-05:00

The other day I was driving behind one of those vehicles with the big yellow ‘pyramid’ on top that says “Student Driver.” I feel really sorry for the people in that car. I’m pretty certain they could be suffering from whiplash today. The student looked to be a teenage male, obviously embarrassed by the huge pyramid on the car that outed him as a student, though seemingly getting a kick out of abruptly slamming the car to a stop at each red light.

As the paranoid driver behind them, and eventually next to, and in front of them, I watched with each screeching halt as the student nervously giggled and sneaked a peek in the rear-view mirror, discretely glancing to be sure his chuckling buddies in the backseat thought he was cool, and not inept.

I thought quite a bit about this student driver over the weekend. Something about him stuck with me. Something about him made me sad.

Maybe it’s just teenage antics, but it was sad to me that this boy was seeking a good time and peer approval by his obviously intentional and dangerous actions.

But IS it just teenage antics?

Probably not. Unless we’re all teenagers. Haven’t we ALL been guilty of some measure of this?

Have you ever focused more on what will grab the attention of others, than on living the life you were meant to live? Trying to get approval, acceptance- or maybe even love- from places you weren’t meant to find it? We can so easily lose track of who we were created to be, and instead wander aimlessly in a desperate attempt to be what our emotions or someone else tells us we should be… sometimes, even if it means stripping ourselves of our very moral backing. Excuses are made, judgment is thrown to the wayside, and we cast our pearls before swine, all for a chance to strip ourselves of a label we despise, and “belong” in the eyes of another.

But there is only one place you need to belong. And you already do.

You were thought through, perfectly created, fiber by precious fiber, for something special and unique. God has showered you with purpose, and the person you were created to be is just enough. There is no need to keep looking in the rear-view mirror for the approval of someone else. Embrace and live, instead, the days that were ordained for you from the depths of time.

the journey… 3 years in

2011-03-08T05:30:00.062-06:00

Humidity hung in the air like a wet towel, heavy and drenched and draped over the clothesline of a sparkling jewel-blue August sky. It was the kind of day that makes your skin long for cool water and a swift breeze. An entire afternoon of blazing sunshine belonged to just me and my sweetheart, and we were on a quest to "get away."

We decided to take a walk and do a little exploring in unfamiliar territory. The sign read "state park" in the dead of summer, but the parking area and adjoining paths were bare as bones.

As we walked, the solid, cool path beneath our feet became lopsided sand, while our sweet conversation and casual gazing at the blanket of shading trees overhead gave way to silent and determined focus. Not only had our firm trail become shifting sand, it had become steep, difficult to traverse, and fully exposed to the heat of the noonday sun.

For quite some time, we hiked. With the heat threatening to smother our desperate lungs and sand plastered to our moist skin, we hiked. And suddenly, as we came over a particularly treacherous hill, we caught an unforeseen glimpse of total and complete heaven.

We had no idea of the beauty that our laborious path was leading us to. All at once we were re-energized and couldn’t move fast enough towards that water. And after a few more dune climbs...

…we were there.

It was glorious.

I could have stayed there for eons. And the heat and unexpected sweat of the journey there made it all the more sweet.

... ... ... ...

Today, I celebrate three years of marriage to my best friend.

I can’t help but think about how our hiking adventure that day so closely resembles how it feels to journey through life with the most incredible man in the world. Many days, the path is less stable and remarkably steeper than we expected, but in God’s goodness, we come over each precipice to see His hand at work in our lives: our son; our calling; God’s always-timely provision. And for a moment, we are propelled forward, catching glimpses of the purpose before us, stealing us away into our dreams for the future.

I love loving you, Jason.

I could stay here for eons. And the heat and unexpected sweat of our journey makes it all the more sweet.

teething and prayer

2011-02-23T14:21:00.014-06:00

You’d think I’d have the wailing figured out by now. It’s been, what? 8 months already? And he’s been teething for, like, 12 of them. So why is it that I *freak out* every time Jackson is teething? Perhaps it’s because I can’t see what’s going on, and I’m just certain that the discomfort is more than teething and we need to rush him to the urgent care center in case he has some triple-top-secret ailment we aren’t able to see but just KNOW is there behind the flooding tears and wracking sleeplessness.

And then… *POP*

Tooth.

…Inevitably followed by, "Oooooooooh. So THAAAAAT’s why you were shrieking your head off and wouldn’t eat or sleep or chill out for the last three days."

Jackson got teeth #s 5 and 6 this week, and the night before they appeared, you would have thought his brain was exploding. It was unbelievable, the crying. (And Jackson was pretty upset too. Kidding.)

This first time mommy thing has me all jacked up. I HATE not knowing what’s going on. I hate not being able to solve a problem, and I hate not having an answer. I spend so much energy trying to figure out what the issue is and how to fix it, and lo and behold, *pop* goes a tooth, or the diaper was dirty, or the bottle was too cold, or nap time came early- whatever. Something simple. It’s always something simple.

It’s really exposed my tendency to panic and find my own answers. I do that in my spiritual life, too, sometimes. Something rattles me, so I start problem solving, because I can’t see the outcome and I need peace. And then I pray. But in those moments, I’ve got it backwards. Doing what I can do, and THEN talking to God about it is all wrong. Don’t worry- logically, I know that. But there are times that I do it anyway. It’s that "I have to find an answer" thing.

I like plans. I like answers and clear skies ahead of me. I have been known to read the spoilers to my favorite TV shows, or read the last page of a mysterious book first, (I know. I know!) simply because I can’t stand the anxiety of uncertainty. So when uncertainty beyond my control swells into my world like an invisible tooth erupting & screaming under the surface, I panic. I determine every logical solution for every logical (and illogical) scenario, and I start crafting a plan.

I’m not very good at teething.

I’m determined to give up on this "I have to find an answer" thing, and to focus more on finding God in the process- in the middle of the unknown, in the crying, and the discomfort. Heck, I might even stop reading TV spoilers and the end of books first. Logic is good. But prayer is so much better.

So, am I the only one who freaks out with uncertainty?

Blocked

2011-02-09T21:48:00.003-06:00

I love the book of Hosea. Love it. It reminds me that I’m human, that God is God, and that because of those realities, He is just and merciful, and will never stop pursuing me. See, I’ve spent most of my life in church (second pew, piano side at that). I went to Sunday School, I went to Youth Group, and I even went to a Christian college. But really, it’s nothing to brag about. I didn’t really learn who God was until I was blocked.

I’m not talking “annoying person on Facebook” kind of blocked. But stuck behind a wall of thornbushes and completely unable to find my way blocked (you know, like in Hosea 2:6).

On the outside, all was well. I was 24 and I was going to get married and move across the country and go to graduate school and get my Ph.D. And then, it happened. I ran headfirst into a sharp, piercing thicket that would capture my lofty plans in one tangled swoop and penetrate my soul and leave me scarred for eternity.

By the time I made it out of that thicket, my plans were gone. And so was my desire for them. Things had changed drastically, and for the first time in my life, I didn’t have a plan. I was waiting. I’m not the best waiter… (Remember how worked up I get when waiting messes up my plans?)

So anyway, this was kind of my wilderness, I suppose. I had been tied up in the thicket, and then led out into the wilderness to have a heart to heart with Jesus (Hosea 2:14). We had a few things to iron out, and the first was that He loves me, always. No matter what. The second was that He has a great plan for my life, and that plan is irrevocable (Romans 11:29). And then He told me to wait. And it was in that waiting that I started to really understand who God was. It was in the waiting that I came to see hope in my “valley of trouble” (Hosea 2:15), and where my relationship with God shifted, matured (v. 16).

So if you’re blocked, tied up in a nasty thicket, consider where it was you were headed that God might be sparing you from. Go ahead and follow Him into the wilderness and have a heart to heart… and wait.

Resurfacing...

2010-10-15T06:00:00.002-05:00

It's been a while...

We've had a few things going on lately...

It's an awesome thing, watching your dreams come true...

I've found that I am on a journey that has changed me more than I ever could have imagined.

And the company's not bad either...

I can't believe it was just one year ago today that we discovered our little miracle was on his way. We are truly thankful.

A couple baby-weight pounds added, a few winks of sleep fewer, hearts enlarged and amazed, and we're gradually resurfacing & growing accustomed to life with our new treasure.

More to come soon...

new creation

2010-04-02T06:52:00.000-05:00

Look what I saw yesterday... I wait for this all winter.

God is always faithful to bring new life. May we never forget, even in the harshest of life's "winters."

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2 Corinthians 5:17

Happy Easter, friends.

Lady's Lizard... (from the Archives)

2010-03-31T13:06:00.006-05:00

Journeying through Holy Week, I was brought back to these thoughts I wrote many months ago.

Today would probably have to qualify as one of the most beautiful days of the year. Taking full advantage of the clear skies, light breeze, and radiant sunshine, I was outside walking and playing fetch with Lady, my puppy. There is a large grassy area with a big hill right behind where I live, and it is one of Lady’s favorite spots to run and play. Several days ago, Lady found a dried up dead lizard in her "play yard," and proudly brought it to me clenched in her tiny jaws. Disgusted, I made her drop it and took her to another part of the hill to play. The next day as we were out walking, Lady found her lizard friend again, and smugly brought it once more to my feet. Still grossed out at this stiff, desiccated reptile, I once again let out an "Eeeewww!" and we promptly retreated to another part of the field, leaving behind her dead and shriveled friend.

Well, Lady is a persistent little girl. She is 5 pounds of pure energy and determination. So, of course, when we went out to play today (hundreds of yards from the last spotting of her reptile friend, mind you), Lady once again made her way to her lizard. Shocked that she found this one tiny little lizard in the midst of the huge field, all I could think was "For the love of God, how do you keep finding this guy?!"

As gross as that lizard is to me, I got to thinking that for Lady, it is just in her nature to hunt and sniff out things like that. That is what she will always do. It is her instinct to sniff out and track down things that are dead, that are dirty, and she will for the rest of her life bring those dead and dirty things to my feet in pride.

Perhaps each of us could learn a lesson from Miss Lady. As Christians, isn’t it supposed to be a part of our nature to go seeking out the spiritually dead and wounded? It is far too often that we stumble upon people who desperately need the forgiveness and love of Christ, and instead of proudly taking them to the feet of God, we grimace and cry out a prideful "Eeeewww!" as we leave their desperate and withered souls in the dust.

Even around such holidays as Easter, THE resurrection celebration, how quickly we forget that God is in the business of bringing life into dead things. May we always take the dried up and dead, the wounded and missing, to His feet.

He Knows

2010-03-18T10:49:00.017-05:00

The nursery for our little one has finally moved into the stage of being ready for assembly and decoration. The closet has been cleaned out, the office furniture relocated, the walls have been primed and painted a beautiful shade of barely there turquoise-blue, the light fixture changed, and the drop cloths removed. Before my very eyes, this room has become THE room. The nursery. The sanctuary where my precious little one will be sleeping and napping and playing and crying out for mama. Each time I stand in the doorway of that near empty nursery, it takes my breath away.

Sweet Jesus, how is it that tears of joy come with such freedom at the thought of this miracle who I don’t even know yet? How is it that there is such profound love swelling inside of my heart with each passing day as I anticipate his arrival? How will I ever be able to contain my love for him when I finally meet him face to face?

And then it occurs to me: Lord, you already KNOW him. (Lucky you).

If I love him so much, even before knowing his face, how much more must our Creator love and adore this tiny miracle growing inside me? He already knows him. He has already assigned his future and his purpose.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

For 14 more weeks, I will wait to meet my son. But Jesus already knows him well.

Psalm 139
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Unloading the Camel

2010-03-15T18:59:00.005-05:00

I have a great appreciation for the story of the Rich Young Man (found in Matthew 19, Mark 10, and Luke 18). Many of us who are familiar with this story have often heard it equated to a love for money and sacrifice for the Kingdom of God—which I am not denying. But, as I read it recently for probably the 100th time, I gathered something else from the words of Jesus to this curious man.

The man wanted to know what he must do to inherit an eternity with God. Apparently, he was a man who obeyed the Law and also possessed great wealth. This is important because riches in that day were thought to be an indicator of God’s favor. Wealth was said to be an index of a person’s spiritual state. Therefore, the man had probably until this time bore his wealth quite proudly as an assurance of his salvation.

And then came the unexpected announcement of Christ: Sell it. It’s worthless. It’s not what I’m looking for.

In fact, Jesus went so far as to say that a camel could more easily pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter his Kingdom.

There is much debate about this analogy, but I find it quite interesting that the “Eye of the Needle” was also a phrase used to describe a small entrance in large gates for passengers on foot. The large gates were opened only for pack-bearing animals (i.e. camels carrying a large load). For one of these animals to even have a hope of fitting through this small, single-person entrance, it would have to remove all of its packs.

The Rich Young Man had loaded his life with his own idea of “spiritual indicators.” He was like a camel, bearing his hefty load with pride. Much like him, we often stack our backs high with good deeds, the “right” words, and dutiful devotion times—packing for our self-navigated trip into the Kingdom of Heaven. We compose man-made indications of our spiritual relationship to God, and we follow them like a script. We put on our suits and ties and our best Sunday dress, we set our timer and pray until it dings, memorize our bible verses, and promise to save one more soul. With our checklist, we dutifully pack our bags for eternity.

And then God says, “Unload the camel.”

It’s not the way in. The loads we attempt to bear are often endured in vain, and to get through the eye of that needle, we have to let it all go.

I am not discounting the relevance of spiritual discipline, nor the importance of intentional sacrifice for the Kingdom. But I have to wonder at times if we have mistaken these things as a means to an end. When we unpack our camels, what is left? What are we without the things we do? To be more clear, what is in our hearts? What is our heart’s attitude towards God? What is our heart's attitude towards the ones we love... and even those we don't?

Do we love from the deepest corners of our heart... or do we spend our time looking for more self-serving novelties to pack away in the luggage of our soul?

God has really challenged me to unload my camel and examine my heart underneath. More than anything else, I want my heart to be pure before Him. And even if it means stripping my devotion to everything else, I want to be able to fit through that door.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)

Reposted from my original blog: http://betsywhitsitt.blogspot.com

gerbil blanket

2010-02-25T19:20:00.011-06:00

You may not be familiar with gerbil blankets, so let me introduce you. I once took up crocheting, and much to my surprise, I caught on rather quickly. Moved with passion to create a beautiful scarf for myself all those years ago as winter approached (and hopefully many more for my friends), I sat daily and worked the yarn in and out and up and over in a quest of warm, fluffy splendor. And then something terrible happened.

L . I . F . E .

I was whisked away from my colorful kingdom of hooks and yarn and lured into the world of busy-ness that so consumes us all. This world battled against the kingdom of crocheting, and in as much, my “scarf” was left behind. Too long in length to be considered a “dish cloth,” but not long enough to claim the title of “scarf,” I deemed my creation a gerbil blanket. And if I had a gerbil, I am certain he would snuggle up under it with pride.

I still have my gerbil blanket, and in the last year or so, I have thought occasionally about retrieving it from its pit of abandonment to continue toward its original purpose of being a proud and cozy scarf. Isn’t that, after all, what all little gerbil blankets want- to grow up to be a scarf?

Well, ironically enough, I have suddenly been forced to find the time for such things as crocheting.

One small stint in the hospital with this darling little one, and I’m off my feet and chugging water like there’s no tomorrow. A few hours spent (re-)teaching myself, and I'm in yarn heaven. I must admit, however, that at this point, my crocheting hopes and dreams are leaning more towards a soft turquoise-blue baby blanket than a gerbil blanket-turned-scarf.

Maybe someday little gerbil blanket… Someday your day will come, and I will rescue you from your lonely, tucked away demise.

Until then, my little gerbil blanket reminds me that it’s never too late to grow in purpose, to do the right thing, to make changes that need to be made. That’s the joy of life in Christ. Grace is on our lives to enable us to be who we were created to be, whether we stopped in the middle and took another route, or we got all tangled up in the ever-weaving yarn of our lives. It’s never too late to seek after your God-ordained purpose. It’s never too late to rekindle a friendship that has been left behind. It’s never too late to speak the words “I’m sorry.” And it’s never too late to try again.

enough

2010-02-11T16:00:00.010-06:00

A few short months ago, I encountered courage like I had never seen before. And it was not my own. This courage was housed in the battered heart of young girl who has known pain that I could never dream of. As she unfolded story after story to me of sorrow, grief, abuse, neglect, and despair, I couldn’t help but wonder for her, "Why this cross, Lord?" From the pit of her hardened soul she was crying out to me the grievances stricken upon her young and fragile life, repeating over and over that she could never be enough.

Those words pierced my heart like an arrow.

It was something we shared. You might share it with us too. Not good enough.

The journey to be good enough in my own mind was a long one for me, and it reached its peak when I was about 18 years old. I had given up life as I knew it to study ballet, and I struggled to fight toe to toe with other long-legged, stick thin figures to win the prize of a starring role under glistening lights before sold out crowds. I was darkly compelled by the searing blisters on my feet and the gurlgling empty belly of a body that longed to be fed, but was neglected in favor of losing a pound and gaining accolades. But no matter how much of a beating my body and soul took from its master, there was always the continuous nagging of not being good enough. It was relentless. And it was about SO much more than my body or snug fitting pointe shoes and tutus.

For some time, even years after I evaded the world of ballet, the quest to be good enough followed me around like a dark shadow, etching away at my heart and chiseling away any remaining fragments of the Truth that I had left behind so many years ago…

The young girl I met a few months ago left Truth behind too. The demands of her grief and the pain of her world rendered the Truth meaningless in her heart. It was a stark reality that shook me to the core of my being.

"For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:10

Oh, that this young, courageous girl would find hope in the Truth again.

May it be a treasure we all clutch close to our hearts and protect for eternity.

stir

2010-01-25T19:19:00.010-06:00

Some of my favorite things require a good stir every now and then:

my coffee

a good homemade soup

a fresh can of paint

What about our spirit? I don't know about you, but I certainly require a stirring of my faith from time to time. And what better way to do so than in relationship?

meet Melissa

More often than not, the stirring of our faith comes from doing life with one another... my friendship with Melissa is no different. I am continuously challenged by her faith and by her ability to be vulnerable with God, even in the most bleak of circumstances.

So when you're challenged to stay put instead of moving forward with God, find a stir. You'll probably find it in relationship, if they're Godly.

Life isn't meant to be done alone. And you never know, your journey may be clearing the path for someone else.

No words

2010-01-23T06:32:00.019-06:00

Olive Hope Polinder went home to be with Jesus yesterday evening. Our hearts are filled with such overwhelming sadness as we think about the incredible loss Rusty and Lynette must feel after these long months of strife, heartache, miracles, and prayer. It seems there are not enough words in the universe to describe the impact this little life has had on our personal faith in recent months. I've been grasping for them for hours now, only to find an ocean of tears.

Olive was born at the end of September 2009 to her missionary parents in Chaing Rai, Thailand, at only 28 weeks, and suffered a severe intracranial brain hemorrhage. When we heard of the need for prayer for her life, something captured both Jason and I and latched onto our hearts... Perhaps it was the leading of the Holy Spirit, perhaps it was our sensitivity to these friends and new parents in need as we were desperate to become parents ourselves... probably both. And so we committed ourselves to fasting and prayer for tiny Olive Hope Polinder, oceans away but tied to our hearts in a way that only the love of God can explain.

About a year ago, I was diagnosed with a tumor in my brain that (among other things) the doctors said could keep us from having children. We were devastated. We stated our faith, sought the prayers of friends and family and our church, and kept moving on with life, but in all honesty, it was a battle we sincerely struggled with very privately. Especially me. There were many days that my faith grew weak and my hope diminished, and I angrily stormed the gates of heaven with demands to understand the unfair anguish that had been cast upon us.

And then Fall blew into our lives with its swift, cool winds, and one day we heard the desperate cry for prayer from the Polinder family. We watched our Savior perform miracle after miracle in Olive's body and our faith was strengthened... We were reminded that God can do the impossible. We were reminded of His goodness in all things, even when circumstances cast their dark and eerie shadows. Little did we know that in the very days that we first committed ourselves to prayer and fasting for little Olive Hope, a new life was being conceived within us.

We consider Olive to be such an integral part of our journey over these recent months. Today the words are hard to find and the tears come freely as we celebrate what her life meant to so many. When I meet her in heaven, I can't wait to find out if she knows that she restored faith in my soul and hope for my heart. I can't wait to see her dancing in the streets of heaven next to the life that I am carrying within me.

Olive's life was the perfect example of the very purpose of human creation: She brought glory and honor to God. We will never stop telling her story.

in a flash

2010-01-18T15:36:00.007-06:00

July 6, 2006

I was driving home late tonight in the middle of one of the most amazing storms I have seen in quite some time. The lightning was spectacular. Huge raindrops were beating against my windshield and the road had that slick, wet glisten on it that makes it hard to see when it rains at night. But I didn’t mind driving slow—I was enjoying the lightning.

The lightning made me think about God, about the way he shows up in our lives sometimes. As I watched the jet black sky abruptly being lit up by bolts of electricity, I remembered all of the times that God has broken into my world—completely out of nowhere, when everything was dark and the rains poured all around me—unannounced, He was there.

With God, things have the potential to turn around in an instant. As I heard one pastor put it, "Trusting in God changes all the possibilities." I have come to realize that I never know just when an answer to my prayers is going to come. Time and time again, God sweeps in and lights up my world without warning.

I wrote this back in 2006, and while it’s been a while since I’ve seen a good lightning storm, I remember that night vividly. And almost four years later, the simple truth hasn’t changed (and it never will): God is waiting at every turn to break into our world.

So if the rains are pouring down, be encouraged. When the sky is dark, and your journey is slowed by the blinding downpour of life around you, turn on your headlights, watch carefully for glimpses of your Savior, and keep going forward. Trusting in God changes all the possibilities.

Let us not grow weary...

2010-01-08T16:55:00.003-06:00

Galatians 6:9 (New International Version)

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

I couldn't get this verse off my mind today. Much of the reasoning is due to some difficult conversations Jason and I have been having about the struggles of leading a church and dedicating our lives to the calling of God to shepard His sheep. I had never thought before about the fact that shepards live their lives alone with their sheep.

Alone.

It's such a scary word. We've all been alone before.

As I think about this verse, I think about what it is to be alone, and what it is to be the community of Christ - the Church, to one another. To love, to share, to remember, to encourage. Maybe it's just to BE with someone. To help one another to not grow weary.

I think about Rusty, Lynette, and little Olive, and how they need our prayers just as much today as they did in the first struggling moments of Olive's life (you can read the beginning of Olive's story here).

Let us not become weary in doing good...

Olive, Lynette, and Rusty need us to not grow weary... We must press on. We must pray. Like the lone shepard, let us- the Church- tend to the flock given to us.

(You can read more updates about Olive at http://rustylynette.blogspot.com/)

Welcome Home Olive!

2009-12-30T21:56:00.003-06:00

Have you heard? Little Olive is home in the United States!!!

http://rustylynette.blogspot.com

Advent Prayer by Henri Nouwen

2009-12-23T09:37:00.004-06:00

Someone sent this to Rusty and Lynette, and seeing as Henri Nouwen is one of my all time favorites.... I just had to share it here too. Merry Christmas friends. May you find joy this season in His presence.

Lord Jesus, Master of both the light and the darkness
send your Holy Spirit upon us this season.

We who have much to do
seek quiet spaces to hear
Your voice each day.

We who are anxious over many things
look forward to Your coming among us.

We who are blessed in so many ways
long for the complete joy of Your kingdom.

We whose hearts are heavy
seek the joy of Your presence.

We are your people
walking in darkness, yet seeking the light.

To You we say, Come Lord Jesus.
Amen.

a different Christmas

2009-12-13T17:53:00.008-06:00

We're doing Christmas a little differently around the Davis house this year. We have purchased three modest gifts. Only three. And they aren't for anyone that lives in the Davis house. You'd think our tree would look awfully bare, with no shiny, fancy packages under it. A little useless, right? Empty stockings? Was someone bad in the Davis house? No, we're just doing it all differently this time around.

Did you know that Americans spend an estimated $474.5 BILLION on Christmas each year? And that the average American will spend $935 on Christmas this year? Here's a breakdown that will (should) turn your stomach. The average American will spend, this year:

$550 on gifts for family & friends (that's just ONE american!)
$120 on themselves (HAVE to have that new Christmas outfit!)
$70 on co-workers and miscellaneous others
$41.50 on a Christmas tree
$32.48 on Christmas cards & postage
$22.61 on flowers
$95.04 on food & candy
$51.43 on decorations
$960.50 on holiday travel for those who don't live near family

Jason and I decided to change up our Christmas many weeks ago. We've had many conversations about spending less to be able to give more. Giving to individuals who we know that are in need, yes, but also giving relationally, to one another, and to certain people in our lives. You see, the very first Christmas was a moment that broke the silence of 400 years... God's people had not heard him speak for ages. They were living in darkness. They were in need of a voice. They were in need of hope. And then, from Bethlehem, a baby cried out into the darkness. God was with them. When they needed a savior most, on their worst day, on their darkest night, God came, broke the silence, met their need, and dwelled among them.

We know families, not only in this community, but all across the world, who are living in silence this Christmas. They have had their worst day, and it replays each day after. They are living in darkness, and it is time for their silence to be broken.

Christmas was meant, from the very beginning, to be voice in the darkness, and an experience that makes us more like Christ. May yours be just that. It's more than enough.

Merry Christmas,

life keeps moving on...

2009-12-09T07:22:00.002-06:00

Things are continuing to progress with Olive. You can check out the latest update over at Lynette & Rusty's blog: http://rustylynette.blogspot.com/

Little Olive is a fighter! Let's keep fighting with her in prayer.

Olive Updates...

2009-12-09T07:13:00.004-06:00

More updates from Lynette over the last week on little Olive...

Get us out of here!

Thursday, December 3, 2009 at 9:29am

Rough and frustrating day.

This morning after we arrived to the hospital we were told we needed to leave the NICU while the neurosurgeon tapped Olive's head. Midway through the procedure the neonatologist came out to tell us that the neurosurgeon had changed his mind and decided to put in a temporary drain that would stay in for seven days. She told us the procedure was almost finished, and we started asking many questions. For one, WHY was he doing a different procedure than he had discussed with us yesterday without talking to us first? Especially because we had talked with him yesterday about our concerns with placing a temporary drain when Olive still has lingering signs of her infection (her WBC count and protein aren't yet back to normal since her meningitis). We were told by a neonatologist we trust from the States that this is not an ideal procedure given her current labs.

After he finished the procedure he came and talked to us. He said that the research shows the same rate of infection between intermittent tapping and a temporary drain...not what we have heard from other sources.

Throughout the day Olive's oxygen level wasn't as well as normal so they decided to increase her oxygen. She also had an increased heart rate with no signs of infection so they thought she was having pain from the procedure...things that didn't happen with the drain the last three times.

The doctors and nurses told me they would like to keep her in the incubator for the afternoon so that she could rest. I was feeling pretty frustrated as to why she couldn't rest in my arms so I asked the head doctor again and she said it would be ok to hold her. After holding her her oxygen saturation went up on its own and we could take her off of the oxygen they were giving her.

They had put tape all over her head to keep this drain in place and some of it was coming off and I could see the catheter from the drain was starting to come out. The neurosurgeon had tried to secure it with the nipple off a bottle and that was filled with moisture from Olive sweating. Warm and moist...a perfect breeding ground for bacteria. great.

So I showed the doctor that the catheter was coming out and pointed out the moisture. All the residents came over to look (7 of them) and after calling the neurosurgeon they decided to remove the drain later tonight to prevent infection. They decided to take out an additional 20 ml before removing it. In the morning they had only removed 5 ml...which I am still confused at why they would remove such a little amount.

The resident came to remove the drain, and Olive screamed through the whole thing as her hair was being pulled out by the crazy amount of tape they had put on her head. After the resident started draining the fluid, we noticed the tape on her head getting wet...not a good sign. By the time everything was finished and we were cleaning up the tech came to test the CSF fluid and pointed out that there were 53 ml of fluid in the container. That means that instead of draining the 20 ml of fluid as planned, somehow she didn't notice it continuing to drain and she ended up draining about 48 ml of fluid in a two minute period.

Earlier today they told me the max they can drain is 10 ml/kg every four hours. That would mean 17 ml of fluid every four hours. Clearly you can see this wasn't ideal. The doctor tried to play it cool and I was nervously looking at Olive. Her fontanel was EXTREMELY sunk in after everything was over. The resident then told the neonatologist what had happened and the neurosurgeon. They said the biggest things they worry about it dehydration, low blood pressure, and electrolyte imbalances. I have also been told before that they cannot remove the fluid too quickly or it can have serious implications on the brain.

I didn't want to put Olive back in her isolette tonight. The doctors went home and lots of new residents came on shift...who are usually confused and learning things for the first time. The nurses that were on tonight were also not the best ones of the group. Both things leaving me nervous.

Then one of the younger nurses came over and said in Thai, "Mother, you can hold her for ten more minutes and then you need to go home so that we nurses can work." So the nurses can work? Am I really bothering you that much by sitting here and holding Olive as she sleeps in my arms? Ten minutes later she returned to give me a lecture about visiting Olive too much and getting in the nurses way. I told her that I didn't understand, because the head nurse gave us the ok to visit her anytime we wanted. I said that it didn't seem to bother anyone but her. She said it would be better if we came less like the other parents and that our daughter's situation is better than the other babies in the room.

I wanted to tell her that I didn't want to be here. That Olive was supposed to go back to the States last week, but she got meningitis from her drain and couldn't leave. I wanted to tell her that in the NICU in America that the parents can visit anytime and research proves the benefits of it.

Let's just say that by the end of our conversation I was in tears and walking home. It took everything in me not to tell her what I really thought of her. Probably for the best.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring...but I am praying lots of prayers that Olive will be o.k. tonight despite the circumstances of today.

another day...

Friday, December 4, 2009 at 12:48pm

Olive did well overnight last night. Today after arriving at the hospital the head nurse asked us to talk to her in her office. She said she that last night she heard about last night's incidence with the nurse being rude and wanted to apologize. Apparently this isn't the first time this nurse has been aggressive with parents in the NICU, as well as other nurses on staff. She told me that she communicated with all the nurses that we are able to visit from 8 am to 8 pm, and that the nurse will be written up for her impolite behavior.

Around noon our doctor from the private hospital came to visit along with the two nurses who were going to travel back to the States with us last week. They asked how things were going and when they found out about all of the issues we have had with trying to remove fluid from Olive's head they were unpleasantly surprised. They suggested we talk directly with the head neurosurgeon about these issues.

We originally moved Olive to this hospital because the doctors at the private hospital spoke very highly of the neurosurgeon here. However, he has been either out of the country for the last month or too busy to be involved in Olive's case and sends his team instead of coming himself. We are not willing for Olive to continue to be an experiment for the residents to learn on, especially with procedures that will may affect her brain and long-term outcome. Since arriving here we have had her first drain cause meningitis, two poorly done lumbar punctures where only 6 ml of fluid was removed, and another poorly placed drain with major mistakes made when removing it. Something MUST change if we are going to stay here.

All this to say, tomorrow we have a meeting set up with the head neurosurgeon to talk about what the plan will be to continue removing fluid from Olive's head, and to request him to be the one to do these procedures rather than passing them off to his students. If this meeting doesn't go well, we will consider moving her back to a private hospital, even though the cost is 10 times greater.

This evening after visiting hours ended, we went with one of the NICU nurses to see Christmas lights downtown Bangkok in celebration of the king of Thailand. We had a really nice evening out together.

Sleep is beckoning me...

Hoping for a change.

Sun at 8:23am

Yesterday we met with the neurosurgeon and his team. We shared all of our frustrations with Olives' care so far, and our concern with her remaining here without a better plan in place.

Before leaving after the meeting he tapped Olive's head and removed 20 ml of fluid.

Apparently our neonatologist had training in the States before, and she has agreed to do tapping every two days to remove fluid. This seems to be a good option, better than having residents without much experience doing it, or waiting for the neurosurgeons to come who are extremely busy.

Tomorrow the neonatologist is going to do another tap. Rusty and I have agreed to give this hospital another 3-4 days and see how things go after having our meeting with the neurosurgeon and see if things improve. They are saying that if the protein continues to decrease in her CSF (cerebral spinal fluid), and she reaches 2 kg (4.4 lbs) then they would go ahead with the VP shunt surgery.

If after a few days we are still not feeling comfortable with the care we will most likely move her back to the private hospital.

over and out.

Olive and the teddy graham

2009-12-02T18:10:00.011-06:00

Sorry for the delay in updates on Olive... This little teddy graham has kept me pretty knocked out lately.

Here are updates on Olive from Lynette over the last few days:

No more infection!
Thursday, November 26, 2009 at 10:50am
Olive had another lumbar puncture today and the results were very good. No more bacteria found in the sample, and the white blood cell count, protein, and sugar were all back to normal. She has been much more active and breathing on room air again without the help of any machines, so we are feeling very encouraged about this.

Rusty spent the morning holding her, and at lunch we swapped and I spent the afternoon holding her. Tonight after I put her back in her isolette she was crying, irritated and flinging her limbs in all directions. I took her back out and thought maybe she needed to be burped, but that didn't seem to help all too much. She probably cried for a good 15 minutes without calming down. Then I noticed her trying to shove her hand in her mouth, so I stuck my finger in her mouth and she started sucking away. We gave her a pacifier and she was suddenly comforted and fell asleep. This is the first day she has had a strong sucking reflex, so we are excited. We may be able to start trying to breast feed later in the week if she continues to stay strong and breath well on her own.

CT Scan
Saturday, November 28, 2009 at 7:23am
Today Olive's neurosurgeon came to look at her recent CT Scan (done yesterday) and explain the results to us. Her brain tissue continues to expand (!!!), and the clot from the previous hemorrhage continues to liquify. We are excited for every good news we get about her brain tissue continuing to expand, even if it is little by little. Olive also still has communicating hydrocephalus which means they can continue doing lumbar punctures every few days to relieve the pressure in her head.

As far as the results of her lumbar puncture, the CSF fluid contains no more bacteria or organisms so that is good news. The glucose level in her CSF fluid is also back to baseline. However, her protein and WBC count are still not back at the normal level. He said that this increase in protein causes her CSF fluid to be more viscous, which is why we need to wait to put in the VP shunt. If we did it now, the increased protein level could cause the shunt to clot and not work properly.

SOOOOO...the neurosurgeon is saying that we will wait on the WBC count to level out as well as the protein. Once those two lab values are in place we will consider putting in the VP shunt...maybe in another two weeks or so. And hoping that her weight is closer to 2 kg (4.4 lbs) by then.

If an opportunity to return to the States would arise before the surgery we would jump on it. Otherwise we will plan on being here for the surgery and recovery.

Last night I tried breast-feeding Olive with the help of the nurses and she was starting to get the hang of it. However, this morning when the neonatologist found out he wasn't too impressed. He says that it is very important for us to know her intake and output at this point, and he would like to wait on that. So...today there was no more of that.

Today I was looking at photos of Olive in her first days of life and couldn't believe how much she has changed in two months. She has been through so much in her short little life, especially to think that my due date isn't even until December 15th. We are so grateful for each day we've had with her and for the days ahead.

Olive - 2 days old

Olive - 2 months old

Livin it up in Bangkok
Mon at 9:05am
Olive had another lumbar puncture done today, and only 6 ml was removed because she was being squirmy and the resident couldn't keep the needle in. She only had 6 ml removed a few days ago too. From what I hear from the States, normally you release around 15 ml or above at a time, so I'm hoping they know what they are doing by releasing such a small amount.

Anyhoo...

Her protein level and WBC count in her CSF decreased more today (this is good news). Tonight she is getting a blood transfusion of packed red blood cells cause she was a little anemic. She was sucking away on her little pacifier when I left her tonight.

Rusty left for Chiang Rai this morning and will be there until Wednesday night taking care of some business with the sponsorship program and visiting friends.

So, I figure now that I'm all alone in Bangkok its time to live it up!

"Living it up" will most likely consist of visiting Olive at the hospital everyday, going out for a cappuccino with whip cream, and if I'm feeling real wild and crazy I might even start writing thank-you notes.

the word on the street.
Tuesday at 10:13am
I spent the day at the hospital with Olive today. Today she was pretty drowsy and not acting much like herself. This evening her oxygen saturation was on the low side of being o.k. so the residents decided to do another lumbar puncture. I was feeling anxious about having another resident do the procedure since the last two times they didn't do the best job and only removed 6 ml of CSF fluid.

I'm trying to find the balance of protecting Olive from being a resident's case to practice on, and being a patient's mother who isn't super annoying. I realize I am at a teaching hospital, but I am not a fan of Olive being someone's case to practice on...(insert nervous sigh here).

Olive cried through the whole thing. They removed 15 cc of fluid this time. After the procedure she seemed more like herself and spent a good 20 minutes alert and flinging her little limbs around. I held her for another hour before walking back to the apartment.

Tomorrow the neurosurgeons are planning on placing another temporary ventricular drain to remove more fluid.

The head neonatologist said it would be o.k. for me to begin trying to breast-feed Olive tomorrow, so I'm hoping things go o.k.

Rusty was able to be home for the rice harvesting at the AYDC in Chiang Rai today. All the parents of the kids came to participate so he was able to connect with a lot of them and share in eating some dog for lunch. : >)

The weather in the north is much colder than here in Bangkok. He is sleeping in a sleeping bag and comforter in Chiang Rai, and I am sweating down here in Bangkok as I listen to Christmas music.

Still no word on another flight being available to go back to the States anytime soon.

love,

Lynette

P.S. We have five breast pumps donated for the NICU in Chiang Rai, so we are set!

The little champ.
Today at 10:56am
Had a really good day with Olive today. This morning the opthamologist came and looked at her again and said he is still very pleased with the results and doesn't think she will be needing any further treatment. They will keep doing weekly checks to make sure things continue to stay on track with her vision.

This afternoon we started breast-feeding. Olive latched on like a little champ, and once she was on her eyes got huge and she looked really excited and unsure what to do about the milk coming out into her mouth. I was laughing at her little expression and trying not to scare her with my shaking. Her vitals stayed good, and she had no issues with her oxygen level dropping so the neonatologist gave us the go ahead to continue trying a little each day.

Today I also met with both the neurologist and neurosurgeon. Starting tomorrow morning they will do daily tapping to remove fluid from her head. From what I understand they just use a syringe and will remove between 10-30 ml of fluid each time.

Rusty will return tonight from Chiang Rai. He had a really good time connecting with friends there.

love,

Lynette

Thankful.

2009-11-25T14:20:00.004-06:00

It’s rather typical to list off all of the things that we are grateful for at this time of year. But this time around, I am grateful for more, and in a deeper way, than I could have ever imagined at this time a year ago.

I am unwaveringly grateful for the incredible journey that the last year has taken me on. Coming out on the other side, it’s easier to say so; there were moments of great sorrow, deep disappointment, and bitter tears that I thought at times would never stop flowing. And nonetheless, there were moments of hope and joy, and the dawning of new friendships that would renew a part of my faith that had forgotten that God truly does care about the little things. And when the weight was too heavy to bear, there was my husband. My precious, God-seeking, devoted partner, softly speaking truth and hope. I couldn’t imagine a better companion on the dusty trails of this life.

This year has taught me to never be led by just my heart, but to be led by Truth confirmed in my heart. With the ups and downs of life, my heart keeps up pace, bouncing up and down in the tidal wave of emotion. But Truth does not change. This year I was reminded that the goodness of God is pursuing me, and no matter how long and exhausting the journey has seemed, God has been waiting to be good to me (Isaiah 30:18, the Message).

Less than three months ago, I was introduced to Evelyn. She was just three days old when I met her. Any newborn has the power to melt my heart, but Evelyn is something special. Evelyn’s life catapulted my faith in God in a way I didn’t even realize until the day I first held her in my arms. You see, Evelyn’s mommy was given the same diagnosis that I had been given during this past year… It involved a mass growing on the brain, and even with proper treatment, one of the many common side-effects was infertility. And yet, on a sparkling late-summer afternoon, there in my arms lay baby Evelyn. The fruit of God’s faithfulness.

In recent months, I stumbled upon another young and miraculous life, swadled in the arms of an old friend and sister in Christ. Her name is Olive Hope. For the last two months my husband and I have prayed for Olive and her parents thousands of miles away, as they bear the weight of the world on their shoulders and watch their little one fight for life on a daily basis. As the world joins with us in prayer, we have seen miracle after miracle, and yet the journey is far from over. Olive has reminded me again that God is faithful, and that God sees a picture that is much larger than the canvas of our own lives. She reminds me that ultimately, God will be glorified, and that alone is reason enough to be grateful for life, in any form or condition.

And here, in the midst of these very miracles, tangled up in prayers for Evelyn and Olive Hope, a new life was created… and this time, against all odds, the life was created and formed within ME.

"For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of Him." 1 Samuel 1:27

Your love Lord, truly does reach to the heavens. Your faithfulness leaps beyond the horizon and into the forgotten corners of my heart. You have pierced my heart with your goodness this year, and to you alone be the glory.

"Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations."
Psalm 100:4-5

Negative Nancy.

2009-11-23T06:56:00.000-06:00

From Lynette

Today at 4:50am

Another day of ups and downs. Woke up this morning with a pit in my stomach having no clue what the doctors decision would be if we would be able to make our flight tomorrow or not. This morning after arriving we learned that she had a stable night and has been stable throughout the morning.

The opthamologist came and said he was happy with the results of her laser surgery and will come back to look at her eyes again in five days from now if we can't return to the States.

Around 9:00 a.m. they did a lumbar puncture to remove 10 ml of CSF fluid to help relieve some of her intracranial pressure and also to evaluate how well she is responding to her antibiotics. The team of one doctor and two nurses who would be traveling to the States with us came to look at her around noon and told us based on her vital signs that they think everything is a go. They said they just needed to evaluate the results of the CSF fluid. So, about one hour later they returned with the results with a concerned look on their faces. Apparently the glucose level was very low, and protein was higher than it should be. They didn't think she was fit to fly. They said they would consult with the infectious disease specialists to get a final opinion.

The team of infectious disease specialists said they were concerned about us not having a ventilator onboard the aircraft in the case of Olive having continued apnea. They also worry that if the meningitis continues to progress that she will start having more frequent seizures. They told us that meningitis can cause deafness, severe developmental problems, as well as seizure issues in SOME cases. Not very comforting news to hear.

So...all of the doctors involved in Olive's case are telling us she cannot fly. We had our hopes up so high to have Olive at such a great hospital, and to be near family and friends as we continue walking through this journey.

So here we are...lots of tears today, anger, and disappointment.

Today I'm feeling angry at God, and wondering why there continues to be more and more bad news. I can see lots of ugly places in myself too in all of this. I want to be grateful for the good things He is doing...like the positive report on Olive's eyes, and the simple fact that we are included in the small percentage of people in this world to have access to this level of healthcare.

I do miss my close friends that could just sit down beside me and grumble with me.

love to all of you...

Lynette

Dear Meningitis, I hate your guts.

2009-11-22T17:56:00.000-06:00

From Lynette

Today at 10:09 am

Today had lots to tears to accompany it. The organism that they found in Olive's CSF fluid is Staphylococcus Aureus...which means she has meningitis. This was the first news we heard upon arriving at the hospital this morning.

Throughout the day Olive has had episodes of Apnea where she stops breathing and her heart rate drops. With the help of a little oxygen and patting her on the back, scratching the bottom or her feet, or rubbing her little cheeks her numbers eventually climb back up. The doctors are contributing this to her infection and say that hopefully by tomorrow night or Tuesday morning the clinical signs will start getting better once she has a few days of antibiotics in her system.

The problem with all of this is that we need her to be stable to take her on the flight planned for Tuesday morning at 11:00 am. Everything is set up and in place...except for Olive's current health status.

Tomorrow morning the doctor who would be traveling with Olive if we go to the States, is coming to the hospital to take a look at her and her labs to decide if she is fit to fly or not. They will be doing a lumbar puncture on Olive in the morning to assess the level of her current infection and also to remove 5 ml of CSF to help decrease her intracranial pressure. According to one neonatologist we have been talking with in the States, if they are able to control her infection by Tuesday and her vital signs stabilize she should be able to still make this flight.

Another issue that we haven't yet been able to discuss with her neurosurgeon (because he has been in Japan for the last week) is how they are going to go about reducing her intracranial pressure now that she has an infection...(insert a deep tired sigh here).

We are crawling into bed tonight feeling emotionally drained and down in the dumps. I'm not sure what you should be praying for at this point...maybe for the antibiotics to destroy all of the bacteria in her system so that her clinical symptoms improve by tomorrow? Or maybe pray that if this doesn't happen we will have the strength to embrace the next step if that means we need to stay here longer.

Love,

Lynette

Auction for Olive - Bidding Starts Tomorrow!!!

2009-11-21T08:11:00.004-06:00

With thousands following the journey God is taking Rusty, Lynette and Olive on, many of us are continually thinking about them and praying for them. Also, many have given generously to the Olive Hope Care Fund that has been set up. As medical bills continue to add up, two wonderful mom's have created another way to increase the finances in that fund. During the next week, people from around the world have been invited to participate in the Auction for Olive. There are a couple ways you can participate.

1.) Auction off something, ANYTHING! Here are the basics:

If you want to donate an item please email Becky at simplyenjoyphotography@gmail.com or Cindy at cindya@me.com with a complete description of the item you are donating, and a picture if possible. If you have a blog with the item on it send us your web address along with the description.
An example of an item could be "Olive's Grandma Co will lovingly make you a plateful of her delicious chocolate chip cookies once a month for a year. Living in Lynden will make delivery easier but I'm sure other arrangements could be made"
All items will be auctioned off via the website linked above
Shipping costs of donated items are the responsibility of the donor.
Once the auction ends and item is paid for we will connect the donor with the buyer.
Bidding will begin Sunday, November 22 at 9:00 p.m. PST and end on Saturday, November 28 at 9:00 p.m. PST

2.) Bid on items during the auction. For the auction to be successful, there must be bidders! As the holidays are coming closer and we think about Christmas shopping, this would be a great way to get your shopping done and support Rusty and Lynette.

3.) Do both!!

Pages of great items are already listed for the auction! Take a look today & begin bidding tomorrow!
http://auctionforolive.blogspot.com

A dirty little organism.

2009-11-21T08:06:00.003-06:00

From Lynette

Today at 7:16am

Yesterday the doctors were pleased with how Olive's laser eye surgery went. After being on anesthesia she was throwing up so she had to be NPO (have nothing by mouth) for the day. Today they have her back on feedings, but she still needs to be on an IV again.

This morning we arrived to the hospital to learn that the doctors were getting ready to test her CSF (cerebral spinal fluid) for any organisms to assess for infection (a common complication of the drain in her head). The test came back as positive for bacteria so they had to remove the drain immediatly and start her on two different IV antibiotics. We were hoping she would be free from infection and that the drain would be able to stay in until the day we left for the States, so now we are unsure exactly how they will handle this.

Now that she is getting IV antibiotics she needs an IV in all the time. Olive has the smallest most fragile veins, so getting an IV in her is VERY difficult. Tonight the nurses tried about 6 times unsuccessfully. We held her and sang to her for while before handing her back to them and heading home. I'm hoping by now they have an IV in her.

Tomorrow the opthamologist will come to assess her eyes again which I'm not looking forward to. They put these little metal clips on her eyelids to pull them back for he examination and it looks so uncomfortable. She crys every time they do this...poor little thing.

At this point they are saying she should still be able to go home on the 24th despite the current complications. Rusty has been busy on the phone with the nurses and doctor who will be accompanying us, those helping with the flight back to the States, and with insurance. We are so thankful to those of you who have given to the Olive Hope Care Fund. It has made it possible for us to pay for the doctor and nurses accompanying us to the States as well as their plane tickets back to Thailand.

We have heard so many good things about the DeVos children's hospital in Grand Rapids and are anxious to get her there sooner than later. At the hospital we are currently at, we rarely see an attending doctor...I think we've seen one twice since arriving 1.5 weeks ago. Otherwise its all residents making the decisions. I think they are very good at what they do, but I would feel much more comfortable if I got to see an attending at least once a day.

The last two days have been rough emotionally for both of us and we are feeling pretty drained. We wish so badly life could be easier for Olive. She is a little fighter, but she's also a weak little thing who I wish could just be cuddled like a normal little baby without dealing with all the daily procedures that make her so uncomfortable.

Life these days continues to be unpredictable. Trying to look for things to be thankful for each day and not be swallowed up by the things that seem overwhelming and out of our control.

Much love,

Lynette

2009-11-20T06:53:00.000-06:00

From Rusty
Today at 3 a.m.

Surgery is finished: Good news, all went well. Olive is such a little fighter. We are now praying that she will remain stable so we can get to Grand Rapids on the 24th. Olive will be going to DeVos Childrens Hospital. We are very thankful to the Dick DeVos Family. They have been on Olive's team from the start. All of you have been on this Journey with us. We are so thankful! Rusty

The Many Faces of Olive

2009-11-19T20:58:00.003-06:00

These pictures are to die for... love this little one!

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=883256&id=1054808187&l=4cb8f58a8b

Eye Surgery for Olive... within 24 hours

2009-11-19T07:00:00.002-06:00

From Lynette

Today at 5:14am

This afternoon we were with Olive at the hospital when we were told today they were going to do the routine eye examination on her to assess for blindness. Rusty and I were both feeling pretty nervous and praying throughout the day that this would turn out better than our last doctor in Chiang Rai predicted. Three residents came in to check her and then called for the head opthamoligist to come and assess her. After he arrived he told us that based on the findings she will need to undergo immediate treatment by laser or cryotherapy surgery in the morning. The doctor told us that if they were to wait too long, or not do this surgery that she will be blind in the future. If they go ahead with it they can prevent this complication, but as with anything there are risks of doing this as well. Another retinal specialist came to confirm the findings and the pediatric team said she will be ok to go under general anesthesia for the procedure.

So here we wait..anxiously and nervously...but still grateful to be in a place where she can recieve the care that she needs.

If all goes well she will still be able to leave for the States on Tuesday.

Much love,

Lynette

Precious little one...

2009-11-17T19:42:00.004-06:00

Look at this little bundle of love!

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23

Coming Home?

2009-11-17T06:33:00.001-06:00

From Lynette
Today at 6:00am

Its been a few days since our last update. Most of our time has been filled with being at the hospital holding Olive and spending time with her. There are many financial benefits (more affordable care) of being here at the government hospital, but along with the benefits come the downsides. The doctors here are overworked, which means sometimes you have to wait for their availability for procedures, wait for a spot in the operating room, etc. She has been without a drain in her head for the last six days, and each day her head circumference has continued to increase. Yesterday we were told by the residents that the doctor was coming to put in another drain around 2:00 pm. After waiting at the hospital, we finally got a phone call around 7:00 pm that he had other surgeries and wouldn't be available for 24 more hours. Today I was told he was coming to look at her at 1:00 pm, and instead he came at 6:30 pm. We've been trying our best to practice our patience...especially since there is not much else we can do. At this point we are hoping that Olive continues to remain stable and if so Olive will be flown back to the States around the 23rd of this month with one Thai doctor and two Thai nurses at her side.

Tonight the neurosurgeon inserted another ventricular drain and the plan is to keep it in until we leave on the 23rd. If she were to get an infection from the drain, then our plans may change once again, and we may be staying here longer.

Thank-you for your continued support and prayers.

Love,

Lynette

Another Ultrasound

2009-11-13T18:32:00.000-06:00

From Lynette
Today at 9:05am

Dear friends,

This morning the neurosurgeon did another ultrasound and he was pleased with the results. He said that her brain tissue is continuing to expand and he was also pleased with how active she has been. For the last two days she has been breathing only room air, so that is also good news!

They are considering trying to switch all of her medicines to go through her ng tube and remove her IVs now that she is getting 22 ml of my milk 8 times a day. This way they won't have to keep poking her.

We are feeling encouraged as we crawl into bed tonight.

love,

Lynette

Olive is on the Move!

2009-11-12T06:52:00.004-06:00

From Lynette

Today at 4:22 am

The last few days have been a rollarcoaster of ups and downs and we have had little time to be online. I mentioned in the last post that there was a possibility of us heading to the States at the end of this week on a commercial flight, but that looks like it may not work out once again due to technical difficulties with the oxygen we will need along the way. However, there appears to be another possibility hovering in the distance to fly Olive home in 1.5 weeks. Yesterday a bed opened up for Olive at the government army hospital and she was transferred yesterday morning.

Tuesday night I flew up to Chiang Rai for 24 hours to pack up our things and say good-bye to our friends there. I woke up at 6:00 am to spend some time with the kids at the Akha Youth Development Center before they left for school at 7:00 am. They all had lots of questions for me about Olive, and when they would get to see her. After that I spent the morning/afternoon talking and packing up our things with Ghan, Blah, Ae, P Thim (some of my close Akha friends) and Libby at my house. In the afternoon/evening we spent time with the older kids from the AYDC in town, stopped in to visit the NICU nurses at Chiang Rai Regional Hospital, then off to a quick dinner with more close friends before going back to the airport to fly to Bangkok. I was unable to see everyone I was hoping to see, but the time was very limited. The day was full of emotions. A deep thankfulness for the friendships we have made here in Chiang Rai...anxiety for not being near Olive during her transfer to the government hospital...and then all of the unknowns hanging in the air about what the future will hold. At this point we are unsure if we will be going back to the States on a short or long-term basis. It will all depend on what Olive's needs will be in the future. It's hard to know how to process things when the future is so unknown. Time to return to the reminder that all we can do is take things one day at a time--one hour at a time.

Last night I landed in Bangkok about 11:15 pm and Rusty met me at the airport. We then went to the government hospital so that I could see where Olive was. When I came in she was crying and the nurses were all busy. Olive just started crying this last week more consistently when she is in pain or uncomfortable. I realize this is a good and normal sign, but also really hard to see when you aren't able to make her feel better. She had an IV inserted into a vein in her head because they were having issues getting it in her legs and arms. The nurses were friendly, but very professional and kindly reminded us that it was okay to be there for a few minutes but that it was not visiting hours. We walked home feeling anxious to have her in a new place once again.

Yesterday after transferring Olive to the army hospital Rusty broke down crying in front of the nurses and was just feeling overwhelmed...feeling sorry for Olive...worried about having her in a new place once again. This morning when we came in to see Olive the head nurse told us that we are going to be able to visit her any time we would like, and said they know our situation has been very stressful. The head nurse told me that she spent 2 months studying in Chicago at UIC...the same school I graduated from for my nursing degree. Today has been wonderful. The nurses are very kind and have been encouraging us to hold Olive as often as we would like. It's been fun to be back in a government NICU setting where we can mingle and chat with the nurses.

We had a meeting with the neurosurgeon this morning and he agreed that he would like to postpone placing the VP shunt (major surgery) as long as possible (ideally until she reaches 4.4 lbs.) and he will continue to try temporary measures to relieve the pressure in Olive's head in the meantime. He said he thinks Olive is stable enough to go ahead with the major surgery now, but will wait longer to lesson the risk of complications.

Olive has been breathing well on room air all day, so we are encouraged by this.

We are so thankful for your prayers, verbal support, and incredible generosity.

Much love,

Lynette

Please don't forget to visit, donate, and bid in the Auction for Olive!!! http://auctionforolive.blogspot.com

Bidding begins Sunday, November 22nd (just by commenting and placing your bid on the item you choose), and ends on Saturday, November 28th. Please join us in this creative way to raise financial support for the Polinders, and get a few Christmas gifts along the way!!!

Quick Update

2009-11-09T06:53:00.001-06:00

From Lynette
Today at 12:00am

Well, a few days ago the doctors told us that Olive is doing better than they expected after removing her first temporary drain. She is able to control her body temperature much better, and is off the ventilator--though still getting a little oxygen. They said because of this, that evacuating her to the States is another possibility again since she wouldn't have to be in an isolette on a stretcher (which was a previous issue for taking her on a commercial flight.

They are also saying that they would like to ideally wait on putting in the VP shunt until she gains more weight (2 kg or 4.4 lbs).

Over the last 2 days her head circumference continued to grow so yesterday they placed another temporary 7 day drain. If she remains stable there is a chance we will take a commercial flight with her to the States along with a doctor and nurse at the end of these seven days. If she would get an infection, or her condition would deteriorate at all, then we will plan on staying here in Thailand for her next treatment.

We are still waiting on a bed at the government hospital to open up, but if it does open up we aren't exactly sure if we will take that spot or stay here... it will all depend of what the plan is for her next step.

Today we are supposed to have a meeting with the director of the hospital to discuss a plan of care for her at this point. Some good news is that Olive's neurologist said that her brain tissue is beginning to expand again a little after removing the fluid. The more it expands, the better her prognosis for the future will be.

We will keep you updated when we are a bit more certain what is going on ourselves.

MUCH LOVE,

Lynette

Auction for Olive - You're Invited!

2009-11-08T17:23:00.008-06:00

With thousands following the journey God is taking Rusty, Lynette and Olive on, many of us are continually thinking about them and praying for them. Also, many have given generously to the Olive Hope Care Fund that has been set up. As medical bills continue to add up we're hoping to add another way to increase the finances in that fund. We are hoping that many of you will start thinking creatively for ways to participate in the Auction for Olive. There are a couple ways you can participate.

1.) Auction off something, ANYTHING! Here are the basics:

If you want to donate an item please email Becky at simplyenjoyphotography@gmail.com or Cindy at cindya@me.com with a complete description of the item you are donating and a picture if possible. If you have a blog with the item on it send us your web address along with the description.
An example of an item could be "Olive's Grandma Co will lovingly make you a plateful of her delicious chocolate chip cookies once a month for a year. Living in Lynden will make delivery easier but I'm sure other arrangements could be made"
All items will be auctioned off via the website linked above
Shipping costs of donated items are the responsibility of the donor.
Once the auction ends and item is paid for we will connect the donor with the buyer.
Bidding will begin Sunday, November 22 at 9:00 p.m. PST and end on Saturday, November 28 at 9:00 p.m. PST

2.) Bid on items during the auction. As the holidays are coming closer and we think about Christmas shopping this would be a great way to get your shopping done and support Rusty and Lynette.

3.) Do both!!

Items are already listed for the auction! Submit yours or begin bidding today!
http://auctionforolive.blogspot.com

No Drain!

2009-11-06T06:54:00.004-06:00

From Lynette
Today at 6:10 a.m.

Olive is off the ventilator and the drain is out. Her head circumference has not grown in 48 hours so we are happy about that. The neurosurgeon told us that over the last 7 days they removed about 400 ml of fluid from her head. Craziness! I was able to finally hold her quite a bit today now that the drain is out.

I will keep asking...

2009-11-04T18:10:00.000-06:00

I wept as I read this today...

From Lynette
Today at 11:51am

I was thinking today about a conversation I had many times with close friends before becoming pregnant with Olive. The conversation was about my fear of having a baby…all the things I would have to give up. How self-less you need to be. And that once you have a baby YOU will be the one in charge of caring for it—you can never give him/her back to their parents and drive home to sleep.

It’s interesting how quickly one can change perspective, and how drastically life has changed since having Olive…how much more ready I felt to be a mother after being breaths away from losing her. How willing I felt to give up my time and make life changes if it meant keeping her. And then came the fears of holding on too tightly to keeping her, and wanting to be able to let her go if that was what was best for her. And the times we tried to “let her go” and “give her to Jesus” and how she kept fighting and taking one more breath than we were expecting her to.

I think things happen for a reason, and believing that also helps me not drown in guilt that I did something to make Olive come so early. I have been struggling with those thoughts and feelings...the “what if I did this differently”...or “what if I listened to all my Thai friends advice rather than laughing at them when they told me…” Still I can recognize that those “what ifs” aren’t going to help me in dealing with what tomorrow will bring me, and they can't change the past.

So now I will continue to take a day at a time...an hour at a time.

Yesterday the neurosurgeon asked me if I knew about her case. I told him I had already been told that she had the worst kind of brain bleed and that her prognosis is very bad. He agreed and said that her brain tissue is so thin that she may not be able to do anything but lay in bed when she gets older. She may be blind, and she may be deaf. She may not be able to speak, or process information. He said he hopes this won’t be the case, and that sometimes things turn out better than doctors expect.

I've heard this about 15 times from our doctor in Chiang Rai, and other doctors in the States, but it just never feels like old news. Each time it feels like someone just punched me in the gut and knocked the wind out of me. I tried to hold myself together, but my throat tightened and my eyes welled up with tears. My mind blanked with the other questions I was planning on asking. The doctors and nurse tried to comfort me, but I just needed time to be alone and sob.

I believe that God still does miracles, and I will continue to ask for them. I also know that often He didn’t choose to heal the whole crowd, but only one out of the bunch…and I don’t know if Olive will be that one. But I will keep asking like she will be that one.

When He doesn't answer my big requests like, "Jesus, heal her brain...renew the damaged places" I start making my requests littler...like today, "Jesus, can you at least allow Olive to sense how much she is loved? Can you let her smile when she gets bigger?" And before I go to bed I will ask Him again to touch her, to surround her as she sleeps, and to do more than I can even ask or imagine.

Its hard for me to believe that you need to know the right way to pray--like its some kind of formula. In fact, when I hear that little children are praying for Olive before they get tucked in at night all around the world, it's those prayers I get most hopeful about. Those simple honest requests to Jesus with no fancy wording attached.

It’s been confusing to know where the line is drawn between denial and faith. It’s impossible not to hope for the best. I am willing to raise a disabled child and I will love her with everything in me. I think I already do.

Whether life brings us what we were hoping for or not I am still resting in the fact that God is good. That He is compassionate and gracious, and abounding in love. That Olive is a gift. And that someday far down the road this part of the journey we are on will make more sense then it does while we are in it and searching for our footing.

The little lady today

2009-11-04T06:40:00.006-06:00

From Lynette
Today at 6:53am

Olive had a rather uneventful day today which we always are happy about. She is on room air with her oxygen, and though she is ready to come off the ventilator the doctor has decided to keep it in until her surgery is finished. She has had very few seizures today (I only saw one), and has been able to control her body temperature much better. The neurosurgeon asked for the nurses to clamp her drain for 24 hours to assess how much her head grows during that time. 19 hours later it is still measuring the same at 32.5 cm, so this is also good news. She has been comfortable most all of the day, except for the last time I visited her and she was getting poked and poked while they searched for new veins. The poor little dear! I had to leave so that I wouldn't make the nurses feel like someone was breathing down their necks, and will go back and visit her again in 30 minutes.

We are still waiting for a bed to open up for her at the NICU at the government hospital. The doctors are hoping that happens tomorrow, but they can't make any promises.

I left the hospital today and walked around in the sunshine for the first time since we have arrived a week ago. I forgot how healing just smelling fresh air and grass can be after being in a hospital for so long. I think I will try to make a habit of it.

Thank you for your words of love and encouragement and continued prayers.

Friends and Family and readers in the blogoshpere, thank you so much for continuing to pray for this little one. Let us not grow weary in well doing...

The next big step...

2009-11-03T06:48:00.003-06:00

From Lynette
Today at 12:42am

Yesterday we had lots of meetings with the doctors discussing the next best step for Olive. A week ago when her temporary drain was put in the plan was to transfer her home to a hospital in the States once they took the drain out and she stabilized.

We have been looking into options of getting Olive back to the States via air, but it seems as if those options continue to not be working out. Some of this is due to the number of stops a smaller plane would need to make and issues with changes in pressure. We have also looked into going with a commercial flight and taking along a doctor and nurse from here, but there have been issues with getting a stretcher on the flights (for her isolette) and oxygen issues and policies with the airlines.

The other option would be to use an air ambulance service, but the cheapest option we can find is a minimum of $170,000 US dollars.

The doctors at our hospital are very well trained in medical evacuations and the specific requirements Olive would need to make a transfer at this point. They are suggesting for us to keep her here to do the VP shunt surgery. This is a major surgery where they place a shunt in her head that drains down her neck all the way into her peritoneum (in her abdomen). These shunts can stay in for a few years at a time if there are no complications. Usually doctors will wait as long as possible to do this surgery in small babies because of the risk of skin break down being greater the younger the baby is. However, in this circumstance the doctors think this would be the best option for Olive at this time.

The hospital we are at is very aware of our financial situation and the cap on our insurance so we have been working together to come up with the most ideal option for both Olive's care and our finances.

The doctors here at Samitivej have a connection with a government army hospital here in Bangkok and one of the top neurosurgeons there (who works back and forth between private and government hospitals). He was trained in Australia and speaks great English, and the doctors here have full confidence in him. He has agreed to take Olive's case. If Olive is transferred to that hospital the cost of the surgery will drop significantly. They also tell us that this hospital has a better equipped NICU then the one we had Olive at in Chiang Rai.

So...after much thought and talking with a neonatologist in the States, we told the doctors this morning that we would like her to get the surgery done at the government hospital and then we will see how it goes having her there. If we feel we would rather have her at the private hospital again after seeing how they care for her at the government hospital, then we will go ahead and transfer her back here to Samitivej. If she is here at Samitivej I know she will always have one nurse focusing only on her, and that there will be no visiting hour limitations...and that they really encourage skin to skin and helping me begin trying to breast-feed her as well. But we will see...maybe the staff at the Army hospital will be wonderful too and we will feel confident in their care for her.

They are saying Olive will need to stay in the hospital after the shunt surgery for another month, and then after that they would like us to stay at a hotel or apartment close by and practice caring for her on our own (breast-feeding...etc) for another month. Then if she has any issues during that month they can help us or if she would have any complications. After that time is up, if we feel confident in caring for her and if she is stable (if she can regulate her body temp and is off oxygen, and eating well) we could take a commercial flight home. Craziness.

So...i guess we will be here in Bangkok for another two months or so. This is not what we were expecting, but it seems to be our only current option and I think I can speak for both of us in saying that we feel a peace about it.

Rusty is in Chiang Rai tying up loose ends and packing up a few more things since we originally thought we might be leaving for home in the next few days. He will return tonight to be back in time for Olive's surgery.

So the journey continues...thank-you to all of you who are walking it with us.

Olive has been stable. The doctors think her apnea was maybe do to fluid overload in her lungs from replacing the fluid they were taking out of the drain. They put her back on the ventilator just for a few days to help her rest and help her gain weight easier. They said they can take it out today, but recommended keeping it in until her surgery is over since they would need to put it back in for the surgery anyways. She is having fewer and fewer seizures so that is good too. Today she seems to be very comfortable.

Pray that her brain would be able to expand again after the intense pressure it experienced from the fluid in her head...this is a concern the doctors talked with us about. Please continue praying for damaged cells to be made new...

Love,

Lynette
Olive with her cute little shrinking head. This is after having the drain in for almost 6 days. Her head circumference has decreased from 38 to 33 cm over the last 6 days!

You Are Worth Far More Than Many Sparrows

2009-11-01T07:51:00.003-06:00

From Lynette
Today at 6:55 a.m.

About four days before Olive was born I was walking around outside of our house in Chiang Rai when I spotted something strange moving around in the grass under a tree. When I got up close I was very disturbed to find a little sparrow still alive on the ground slowly moving with ants completely covering it's little body and biting it. I yelled for Libby to come help me and we moved him onto the concrete and tried to brush off the ants with a broom. We then took him into the house and made a little bath for him to get rid of the ants hiding under his feathers.

We sat there watching him dry off for about 15 minutes killing any sneaky little ant that crawled out from under his wings. The sparrow laid on the counter for about an hour not moving at all. He drank a little water when we gave it to him dripping off a cotton swab. After a while we moved him to the floor in a little bowl thinking he would probably die later in the day. We were happy that at least he would die in peace rather than getting bitten alive by those awful ants.

A few hours later the little bird jumped out of the bowl and started hopping around the house. It took us about 10 minutes before we could catch him because he started flying again. I then walked outside with him and he flew out of my hands away into a tree. I thought a lot about this verse...

“Do not two sparrows sell for a coin of small value? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father’s [knowledge]. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Therefore have no fear: You are worth more than many sparrows.” -Matthew 10:29-31

I was amazed that God cared enough about this little bird to let us come across him and nurse him back to health.

I've thought a lot about this situation and verse over the past five weeks since Olive has been born. It's come to my mind in those moments when God has felt silent. In those moments when I have wondered if He has even been listening to my prayers. When I have been overwhelmed and confused. Eventually He gently nudges me with the reminder that He cares for those little sparrows--so how much MORE does he care for Olive?

Our emotions have hit the highest of highs and the lowest of lows in the past five weeks. The simple fact is that God loves Olive even more than I...and all of this is ultimately out of my control. He can choose to take her to heaven, or to continue giving us the gift of caring for her.

He has plans for us which we can't even begin to imagine. I have NO idea what my life will look like in five years from now...or even tomorrow. If I sit and think about that for too long I can start to get pretty anxious. I've learned in this last month that life can change drastically within the hour. Ken Koeman wrote this to us the other day and it is so true..." have I mentioned that most of the time God does not lead us with a searchlight, but rather with a flashlight? Step by step, through winding paths…and slow."

I don't know what tomorrow will bring, or even tonight. What I DO know is that if God cares about these little sparrows-- that He cares for us and the details of our lives...and that He is enough. Now only if I can just remember that in the darkest of moments.

Weekend Updates

2009-11-01T07:43:00.004-06:00

The little lady herself on her 5 week birthday! Olive, you have captured the hearts of many! We thank God for the miracle of your life, and the way you compel us to fall at the feet of Jesus.

From Lynette
Today at 5:30 a.m.
Olive is having a harder day today. She had some apnea over night and today so the doctors have been trying to figure out the cause of it. Currently she is sleeping and stable. Thank you for your prayers.

From Lynette
Saturday at 2:40 p.m.
Olive had another ultrasound this morning and the neurologist was very pleased with the results. Because she is responding so well they have decided to remove 10 cc of fluid every four hours now. She is still very stable. We are very grateful.

Relief & Relaxation... and Comfort

2009-10-30T07:09:00.003-05:00

From Lynette
Today at 5 a.m.

Olive is off oxygen today and just breathing in room air. She is looking so comfortable in her little bed with her head resting on little water pillows. Lots more fluid continues to be coming out of her drain and her head is looking and measuring smaller. So thankful for all of this.

Update of the Last Three Days

2009-10-29T07:07:00.002-05:00

From Lynette
Today at 7:00am

Dear friends and family,

Much has happened since my last post. Life has been such a rollar coaster changing hour by hour, so I have only been updating immediate family because our time has been so limited.

Since my last post we were working towards moving Olive to Chiang Mai and waiting on a bed opening up in the NICU at the government hospital since the private hospital refused to take Olive calling her a "hopeless case."

Two days ago Olive became less stable and was having constant seizures for almost a 30 hour period. Rusty had gone to Chiang Mai with his mom the evening the seizures began to work with the consulate to get Olive a US passport, Social Security #, and birth certificates taken care of.

Here is the timeline of the last three days...

Monday night: Rusty and Colleen go to Chiang Mai. After leaving Olive begins having seizures and looking uncomfortable. The doctor was trying to up her milk intake to maximum intake to help her gain weight, but she wasn't tolerating it well and was throwing up and had a swollen little belly. Her head circumference had increased 2 cm on that day...I was starting to feel worried of what we were going to do if a bed didn't open up soon at the government hospital in Chiang Mai.

Tuesday morning: We get a phone call of someone who wishes to remain anonymous who would be willing to help us get Olive back to the States (miracle #1), Rusty meets with the US consulate in Chiang Mai who cancels all of their morning plans to focus on getting Olive's passport, SS # and residency as Michigan, and birth certificate finished all FREE of charge and finished by noon (miracle #2).

Meanwhile in Chiang Rai our doctor is saying that if Olive can't keep her milk down that she can't be transferred to Chiang Mai even IF a bed opens up. She is also having lots of seizures and our doctor thinks she shouldn't go. We are BEGGING her to let her go just to get this fluid relieved to help her with the seizures and to get her at least to a place where they have the resources and ability to surgically help her. Rusty then starts talking with our insurance about getting her medivaced to a private hospital in Bangkok where SOMEBODY can help her. This is approved and they say they will come later in the evening to get her.

Tuesday Afternoon:Rusty (who is still in Chiang Mai) is feeling super encouraged everything that has come together during the day.

Meanwhile I am in Chiang Rai next to Olive's bed watching her have constant seizures that are not being controlled by her anti-seizure medicines. She is now not able to have any milk because of her seizures so she is back on an IV and her veins keep blowing so she is getting poked so many times. My heart is getting more and more worried and breaking watching her look so miserable... and her head keeps growing.

THEN the doctor comes in and tells me that Olive has a severe case of pneumonia they just found. She thinks it is most likely from her aspirating milk from throwing up the night before. She tells me she thinks she shouldn't go to Bangkok because she is unstable. She also mentions that if we don't give Olive antibiotics for the pneumonia that the infection will most likely take her in a few days and this is her suggestion. Being next to Olive for the last 24 hours and watching her look so miserable I felt like maybe this is where we are supposed to step back and stop forcing her little body to work so hard. That maybe we should just let her go, let her be with Jesus where her body will be made whole and she will no longer be in any pain. Tears are flooding as I call Rusty and tell him the news the doctor just told me. We cry together on the phone and Rusty says he is leaving Chiang Mai now and will be there soon.

Tuesday Evening: I tell our doctor that we need the evening to talk together and pray about not giving Olive antibiotics and we will tell her our final decision in the morning. Colleen decides not to fly out after-all, thinking she will want to be there for the funeral. Rusty and Colleen drive back that evening and cancel the medivac team for that night and puts them on hold until the morning. Rusty and I call a neonatologist in the States to talk through our current confusions we find ourselves in. We go to sleep crying that night feeling a deep sense of sadness and trying to find that still small voice that seems lost...exhausted.

Wednesday Morning: Rusty goes to the hospital to talk with our doctor with Libby and our friend Blah. Rusty is preparing to tell the doctor that we are planning on not giving Olive the antibiotics and letting her go. However, when he arrives Olive is peacefully sleeping without any seizures. The doctor comes in and tells him that maybe Olive doesn't have pneumonia after all and instead that she has some sort of chronic lung disease that means she may need to be on a ventilator for the rest of her life...and that we should let her go.

Rusty gets upset about her misdiagnosis about the pneumonia and tells the doctor that today Olive is leaving Chiang Rai and we are getting her to a facility in Bangkok where somebody can begin relieving the pressure in her head. The doctor says she isn't stable enough and Rusty says he would rather risk leaving and help her somehow. He calls insurance and a medivac team is approved and will arrive in late afternoon.

Libby and I drive home to our house and pack up our things in case we go from Bangkok directly to America. We have one hour to pack up and then drive back to the hospital. No clue whether we are leaving for one week, one month, one year, or for good. Mixed emotions and a feeling of numbness of not wanting to grieve good-byes here if the future is so unclear.

Wednesday Evening: Rusty and I say our good-byes to the wonderful nurses in the Chiang Rai ICU that we have grown to love. We leave with Olive in a small plane and medivac team to Bangkok. Olive remains stable during the transfer.

Once we arrive at this AMAZING hospital we are met by a team of doctors (neonatologist, neurosurgeon, cardiac specialist, and internist) who are ready to care for Olive (all of whom speak amazing english). They tell us to relax and they assess her, talk together, and do a bedside ultrasound. Then we all met together for a consultation meeting and they go through the different options of treatment at this stage and suggest doing a ventricular tap (a temporary drain in her head to relieve some of the fluid that stays in for 5 days). We explain to them our insurance issues as well so that they understand we are working towards getting her back to the States as soon as she is stable enough to get her on Medicaid, and they are very understanding.

Last night they went ahead with the temporary drain and everything went well. She is in her own ICU room with a nurse and doctor caring for her at all times. They discount the price for us to sleep in the hospital in a room down the hall from Olive and tell us we can visit her at any time and if the doctor needs to talk he/she will come and knock on our door. Amazing.

Now we are having meetings to discuss evacuation options in the next 5-7 days, and back-up plans in case she is not stable to go at that point. The staff at this hospital have been incredible with helping us talk through issues with insurance, evacuation issues, explaining in detail their findings about Olive from tests they are running. They also talk to her like she is a little sweet baby and look at her closely... smile at her. She is being treated like a little person with value, and it means so much to us.

We are so thankful to be here in this place, at this moment. I could keep going, but this is getting to be MUCH to long for your weary eyes to read. I will try to post again tomorrow.

Much love,

Lynette

Answers to Prayer!

2009-10-29T06:48:00.002-05:00

From Rustin and Lynette
Yesterday at 11 p.m.

Olive is responding well, to the drain in her little head. We are feeling so blessed to have a Dr. that is by her side 24-7. We can now sleep. We need to give Olive a few days here, and now we are trying to figure out the details of an evacuation to Grand Rapids, Michigan. Please pray that everything falls into place for that. Money stuff is freaking us out, thanks to all who have helped us out!

Arrived!

2009-10-28T15:53:00.000-05:00

From Lynette & Rusty
Today at 12:00 p.m.

Well we made it! Had a team of Doctors waiting for us, they are great. Olive is geting her poor little head tapped to relieve the pressure as I write. Thanks so much for your prayers. We now have a couple of days for the doctors to get to know Olive and try and help us make good decisions for her future. She is in her own room, with her own nurse! We are thankful. Rusty and Lynette

Transfer

2009-10-28T06:45:00.006-05:00

From Lynette
Today at 12:30 a.m.

The 3 of us are flying to BKK to a private hospital and 4:30pm Thailand time [Thailand is 12 hours ahead of us]. It is a big risk! But we feel like it is the only way Olive can get the care that she needs right now. Please be praying for us.

If you are new to this blog or Olive Hope's story, you can start reading from the beginning here. You can also follow the post Label "Olive Hope Polinder" in the right sidebar.

Mid-morning Update on Olive

2009-10-27T11:16:00.002-05:00

From Lynette
Today at 11 a.m.

Olive is not doing well. She has been having continuous seizures for the last 24 hours and htey are having a difficult time controlling them with medication. She also has pneumonia again and her vital signs haven't been stable today.

Citizenship for Olive!

2009-10-27T06:47:00.003-05:00

Update from Lynette
Today at 3:30 a.m.

Some good news. I walked out of the US Consulate in Chiang Mai with Olive's passport, birth Certificate, and Pending Social Security number. We have been feeling like things are not going our way lately. But today everything went our way. This stuff usually takes days to process. Praise God. And Thanks to all the workers at the US Consulate in Chiang Mai.

Olive is now a US citizen!

Olive is uncomfortable today. Please pray.

Compliments of Ryan Callahan

2009-10-26T19:40:00.004-05:00

Turn up the volume...

To donate to the Olive Hope Care Fund, make checks payable to "Olive Hope Care Fund" and mail to:

Stacia Hoeksema
1260 Prospect SE
Grand Rapids, MI USA 49507

Olive Transfer Update

2009-10-26T06:43:00.001-05:00

From Lynette
Today at 5:50am

This morning we walked over to the hospital prepared to be moving Olive to Chiang Mai today to begin getting consultations from neurosurgeons there about what the next step is to care for her ever growing head. After arriving it became clear that there was no bed currently available in the NICU at the government hospital in Chiang Mai...and now they are saying they aren't sure when one will open up.

We talked with our doctor here and with a doctor in Chiang Mai about possibly temporarily moving her to a private hospital in Chiang Mai until a bed opens up at the government hospital. After our doctor here called the private hospital in Chiang Mai she told us they won't accept Olive into their care because she is classified as a "hopeless case."

Great. We really appreciate your help and care. So what exactly are we supposed to do with Olive when her vitals are stable and the pressure in her head increases day by day? I guess just continue waiting and praying for a bed at the government hospital.

We have a wonderful head doctor from the government hospital working to get her in ASAP, but there is really nothing he can do until a bed becomes available for her...which hopefully will be in the next two days. We are hoping to get her under his care when she moves to Chiang Mai. He studied in the States, speaks amazing English and had a pre-term baby of his own while in the States. He seems to think he would like to assess her first in person and then decide what the next best step is...to send her to Bangkok...to help her in Chiang Mai...or if its possible to get her to the States.

Last night we spoke with another WONDERFUL neonatologist from the States who thinks the best thing we can do at this point is get her home to the States ASAP and on Medicaid, or to proceed with some temporary measures in Chiang Mai to relieve the pressure, then continue trying to get her home (most likely to a hospital in Indiana or Michigan).

Now the question is how do we get her home if that is what is best for her? Tomorrow morning Rusty will be meeting with the U.S. Consulate in Chiang Mai to begin working on Olive's passport as well as researching options about flights back.

On a lighter note, we have been having lots of fun with our nurses here at the ICU in Chiang Rai. Today when I was sticking more milk that I had pumped in the freezer they were laughing at how much I had stored up compared to how little Olive can drink. I told them they should start drinking it with their morning coffee...to which they were appalled and thought better if I just make Rusty drink all of it, or to have him use it as a face mask. :>)

You have all been SO wonderful with your words of love and encouragement, your incredible generosity, and your prayers. Couldn't ask for a bigger support team during this time.

Love,

Lynette

This weekend's updates on Olive

2009-10-25T19:18:00.003-05:00

Olive Update from Friday, October 23rd:

Today they removed Olive's nasal cannula so she is on room air. They also took her off IV fluids and continue to increase her milk intake. Looks like we will be heading to Chiang Mai on Monday.

Update on Olive (Written by Lynette's sister, Stacia)
Yesterday at 11:09am

Thanks to so many of you who have responded to Rusty and Lynette's request for some assistance in researching options for them. We have gotten a ton of very helpful information over the past few days. Rusty asked me to write an update, just so people would know what they have figured out thus far...

Rusty was able to get in touch with the second in command at the U.S. Consulate (whose wife "incidentally/providentially" had a premie baby in Thailand recently as well). He was very helpful and is working right now on all of the citizenship, birth certificate, etc. end of things.

They have decided they will move Olive to Chiang Mai (3 hrs from Chiang Rai) on Monday. They will pay for this transfer from the Olive Hope Care Fund as Aetna will only cover one transfer and this is not the one we want them to cover!! There is a very good Neonatal Surgeon in Chiang Mai, who was trained in the U.S. and speaks English well. Once they get there they will sit down with him and figure out the best option for relieving the pressure on Olive's brain. They will also discuss next steps in terms of if they should remain in Thailand or return to the U.S.

We have gotten some very helpful information about Medicaid and it looks like Olive will qualify if/when she comes to the U.S. They'll also likely need to apply for Social Security Disability for Olive, so we are continuing to investigate the options there. If you have any contacts in the SSA -- please let us know.

How Olive would come to the U.S. is another matter entirely... PLEASE PRAY THAT AETNA WILL APPROVE THIS MEDICAL EVACUATION (if that is what the MD recommends) AND WILL COVER IT IN FULL!!!! It is very frustrating (to me at least) that Rusty and Lynette have been paying privately for this insurance for such as time as this and now there is only coverage for a small fraction of the costs they are facing...

Thanks to all of you who have given to the OLIVE HOPE CARE FUND. Rusty and Lynette are so blessed and overwhelmed by the generosity of so many of you. Here is the link if you would like to donate: http://apps.facebook.com/causes/363622/12477196?m=8c55b813

God continues to sustain them through this journey... please continue to pray and if you have any additional information you think would be helpful, please let us know!
Tomorrow (10/25) is Olive Hope's one month birthday!

Psalm 139:13-16 (adapted for Olive)
For you created Olive's inmost being; you knit her together in her mother's womb. We praise you for she is fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, we know that full well. Olive's frame was not hidden from you when she was made in the secret place. When she was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw her unformed body. All the days ordained for Olive Hope were written in your book before one of them came to be...

A need for Olive: Can you help us get some answers?

2009-10-22T06:53:00.002-05:00

From Rustin
Today at 3:33am

Lynette and I are faced with some decisions in the next couple of days. It looks like Olive will need a shunt soon. We have been advised to have her moved to Chiang Mai (2.5 hours away) We are trying to figure out our options before making this decision. We need to know if Olive would be eligible for Medicaid in the States. We have a cap on our insurance, and are wondering if we should try to get her home to America asap. Does anyone know how this would work for a baby born overseas to come into an American hospital? Does it depend on the State? If anyone knows someone that has the answers to these questions can you put us in touch with them? Does anyone know someone who works for Medicaid? our email is rustylynette@mac.com. Thanks for all your help and prayers. I bring this to you because many have asked if there is anyway you can help. To have some of these answers would help us a lot.

Olive is again stable today. Her head grew a lot over the night. She had another CT scan today. We need to relieve her pressure asap.

Love, Rusty

Possibly Moving Olive to Chiang Mai

2009-10-21T06:35:00.002-05:00

From Lynette
Today at 6:22am

This morning we met with our neonatologist to discuss what the next step will be for dealing with Olive's growing head. The neurosurgeons here in Chiang Rai don't have experience doing this surgery on such a little baby, and it looks like the best option will be to move her to a hospital in Chiang Mai (three hours away). We are waiting to hear back from the government hospital there as to when a bed will open up for her in the NICU and then we will most likely be packing up and moving our headquarters. This could be in a day, or a week. We will be very sad to leave our nurses and doctor here, but it looks like this is the best option for Olive.

She had another good day today.

Love,

Lynette

An emotional day for Lynette & Rusty

2009-10-20T05:34:00.002-05:00

From Lynette
Today at 2:40am

Dear friends and family,

Yesterday was an exhausting day. We got a phone call from the hospital at 6:30 am that Olive wasn't doing well and we should come as soon as possible. When we arrived her vitals were very low, but they climbed back up again...only to drop again. The doctor told us that she thinks she will die in the next few hours. Rusty had called Luka and told him that Olive was going home to be with Jesus today so Luka and some of the staff and students from the Akha Youth Development Center went and dug a hole for her little casket. We spent the morning with her singing to her, holding her, cuddling her, and saying the things we needed to say. She would stop breathing for about 1 minute and her heart rate would drop, she would lose all color...and then take a big breath, cough, and her numbers would rise again. Her numbers continued to drop (into the single digits) and rise all day (6:00am until 3:00pm)...and then at 3:00 we aren't sure what happened but her numbers stabilized. She dropped very low one more time last afternoon and then has stayed stable since.

All the nurses as well as the doctor said they have never seen any cases like this and they are just as confused as we are. It's a strange place to be...to think you had said your good-byes and grieved so deeply the reality of losing her...and now to have her stable.

We are emotionally exhausted and confused...yet thankful to have more time to hold and snuggle her.

Much love,

Lynette

Look at this baby girl, snug as a bug in a rug

October 19th Update on Olive

2009-10-19T10:40:00.003-05:00

Please continue to lift up little Olive and Lynette and Rusty today. It has been a very hard day for Olive, and her vitals are unstable. Lynette will be spending the night with her at the hospital.

Lord, hold them tight as they rest. Be there with them, a comfort in their pain and exhaustion. Touch Olive's body and continue to use her to bring glory to your Name.

Grace

2009-10-18T19:08:00.009-05:00

“I do not at all understand the mystery of grace - only that it meets us where we are, but does not leave us where it found us.” -Anne Lamott

May we all find grace today in the small miracles.

October 17th Olive Update

2009-10-17T19:54:00.002-05:00

From Lynette

Today was another special day with Olive. We took turns holding her and enjoying hearing her little noises now that she is off the ventilator. We still haven't heard her cry, but she does make little squeaks here and there and gets the hiccups every once in a while. Tonight my sister Melody called and I held the phone up to Olive's head so she could hear her aunt. Melody got to hear one little hiccup from Olive on the phone.

We are so grateful for this time that Stacia and Colleen are here with us. It means a lot to have family meet Olive and get to touch and hold her. Libby has continued to be an amazing friend who just keeps walking through each day of this journey with us and supporting us in so many ways. Jan and Roger Boyd & Jean and Larry Russ came to visit from Chiang Mai for the weekend. It's been really special to have them here.

Olive's head continues to grow and is getting some very soft spots due to the continued increase in fluid. Today her vital signs remained stable. She also seemed to be have fewer seizers today.

Today the doctors told another mother from the ICU named Nuay that her two month old son has used up his blood quota from the hospital (30 bags) and that they need to continue giving him blood, but in order to do so they need people to donate. We have been trying to find friends of ours who are eligible to donate for her baby tomorrow and on Monday. Her baby has some serious issues with his liver and the doctors are unsure if they can help him. Please pray for this family and their little one.

In other news, Olive's roomate Oliver has graduated and moved out of the ICU into the nursery. We are happy for him, but also really sad because we aren't allowed to go and visit him in the nursery since we aren't immediate family. Yesterday the nurses got a phone call from his parents that they will come and pick him up when he is ready to go home. Now he only weighs 880 grams and needs to get up to 2 kg before he can go home...so maybe another three months?

For dinner Libby and I drove to Ning's noodle shop and ate dinner with her. Tomorrow she will move back to her home town which is about an hour away. Please continue to pray for her as she is really hurting with the recent loss of her little one.

Our hearts are overflowing with gratefulness from all the love, support, and generosity we have felt from so many of you during this time.

Love,

Lynette

Yay Olive!!!

2009-10-14T12:50:00.001-05:00

From Lynette at 12:30 p.m.

Olive was taken off the ventilator today and has been breathing all on her own with the help of some oxygen. She had a good day and has been held ever since all those tubes were taken away...between me, Rusty, Colleen, Stacia, Libby, and Ghan she hasn't been put back in her isolette since 9 am.

Psalm 139:5, 12-16... a Prayer for Olive

2009-10-12T21:47:00.005-05:00

You hem [Olive] in - behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon [her]...

...Even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

For you created [Olive's] inmost being;
you knit [her] together in [her] mother's womb.

[We] praise you because [she is] fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
[We] know that full well.

[Olive's] frame was not hidden from you
when [she] was made in the secret place.
When [she] was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw [her] unformed body.
All the days ordained for [Olive]
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Jesus...I know you are here...but can you please come a little closer?

2009-10-12T10:49:00.000-05:00

From Lynette, Today at 10:27am

We are crawling into bed tonight with sad and heavy hearts. One of the mother's we have become close to in the ICU lost her five month old little girl today. The mother is an 18 year old young women named Ning who we have grown to love. Her daughter had some serious issues with her little heart. This morning I sat and talked with Ning for about an hour. She was so excited because a bed finally opened up for her baby to move to a hospital in Chiang Mai where her daughter would be able to get surgery that she needed.

This afternoon in route to Chiang Mai we got a phone call that they didn't make it to Chiang Mai before the baby died. They had run out of oxygen, and in the process of switching oxygen sources the baby started crashing...the nurses gave emergency medications and CPR but were unable to revive her.

We spent this evening at the morgue with them as they bathed, powdered, and dressed her and wept with Ning and her mother.

Jesus...I know you are here in the midst of all of this pain...but can you please come a little closer? Please surround Ning and her mother tonight as they crawl into bed and weep themselves to sleep. Be with the other families with babies in the ICU who are hurting. Be near us...be all around us...give us your peace.

Give Olive a peaceful night of sleep.

Things to be grateful for tonight... from Lynette

2009-10-11T21:29:00.001-05:00

From Lynette, Sunday at 10:47am

Crawling into bed tonight feeling so thankful for all of the nurses at the hospital caring for Olive and all of the other little babies there. We have been spending every day in the NICU with these wonderful nurses and getting to know more about their stories. We are grateful Olive is in their care when we go home to sleep at night. We are also so thankful for the other NICU parents who are also walking on difficult journey. Each day we take turns holding each other up in our weak moments.

Another baby died today...five months old...the parents live only 30 minutes away and we haven't seen them visit him once since we have been here for two weeks. The nurse caring for him was crying as she wrapped up his fragile little body and kissing him on the cheek.

One of the nurses told me tonight that they have been sharing my milk with another baby in the NICU who is even smaller than Olive. His parents are from Laos and are unable to visit. This was the highlight of my day.

Olive did well today. She had lots of love between Rusty, Libby, Bethany and I singing to her and touching her.

The outpouring of love we feel from many of you continues to sustain us. We are resting in the truth that Jesus is surrounding us and our little one.

2009-10-11T08:24:00.004-05:00

"Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much a heart can hold." -Zelda Fitzgerald

Update on Olive's health

2009-10-11T08:20:00.004-05:00

From Lynette, yesterday at 11:26am

Many are asking for an update of Olive...

Her breathing is improved...they are continuing to lower the ventilator settings and she is on very low concentrations of oxygen.

She is getting my milk through an ng tube 8 times/day.

She has pneumonia in her lungs so her body is working hard to fight off this infection.

Her head circumference continues to grow each day and surgery is pending, but being put off until the infection in her body can be more controlled.

The doctors in the States and here in Thailand are very concerned about the long-term damage that has occurred from her brain hemorrhage. It seems to be one of the worst prognosis that she could have. It appears to be even more serious than we originally thought.

Weary and emotionally drained...though tears still seem to keep falling. We are soaking up each minute we get to spend with her. Singing with her, touching, and holding her.

We have been getting closer and closer to the other parents with children in the ICU here. Today was a rough day as one of our friends from Laos lost his 5 month old baby. Now 3 of his 4 children have died from the same hereditary disease. He was here alone today when his little baby boy died...holding and rocking him in his arms and sobbing. Afterwards he was unable to contact his wife who lives in the mountains of Laos. Our hearts ache for him tonight as we crawl into bed.

Thank-you for the love we feel from many of you...even from a distance. We are feeling pretty fragile these days. We know many of you struggle with what comments to write. Knowing you are praying and sending your love is enough for us. That is profound enough for us.

Thoughts from Lynette's Mom

2009-10-09T06:43:00.002-05:00

Lynette's mom posted this on her blog on October 8th:

Our plane tickets will bring us back to Chicago O'Hare October 10. Our hearts will still be in Chaing Rai Thailand with Rusty, Lynette, Olive, Libby, Luka, Ghan, and all the rest of their friends. WE have eaten and cried with many of their friends. We have grown to love Lynette's Thai teacher, who doesn't share her faith, but is such a precious friend..

For myself I need to say, "God, we have the faith that you can heal this little miracle completely if you have a "mission and a reason you think she should be on this earth." God, if you feel that you can be glorified more by taking her home to Heaven, we will be willing to release her, but we thank you so much for this time that you have granted her to be with us to bond and to be touched.

We encouraged Lynette to begin to take the time to heal, rest and so yesterday we asked her to go to the hotel and sleep. Her milk is coming in as though there were plenty of tomorrows. Lynette told her Neonatal Dr and Neurosurgeon that she struggles with insisting her child get surgery when other babies in ICU have a better chance of survival. We know that according to our American doctors that reviewed Olive's case, she has a very grim prognosis. The doctors were so touched, and it is the first time I saw her Doctor put aside her clinical manner and put her arm around Lynette. I think they are just amazed because they are used to us "pushy" Americans getting everything we want.

We are at the mercy of a great and powerful and loving God. I continue to ask God if he doesn't want to do a miracle healing for Baby Olive. We will leave tomorrow leaving part of our heart in Thailand with our children and granddaughter. We will be passing the baton on to Rusty's family to continue "loving on" Rusty and Lynette and helping hold up their weary hearts with day by day decisions.

Lynette held Baby Olive last evening skin to skin. Her ventilator was turned down to 20 (it has been as high as 50 at times. The Doctor has been turning it down every day just a little to see what Baby Olive's lungs can do on their own, and the dear little heart keeps being able to beat at between 49 and 60. No antibiotics have been able to change the high WBC's. But the little blackened toe is beginning to heal....this is the one they thought they might have to cut off. I told Lynette that I'm tired of seeing her poked with needles every day.

We have only one more full day here. In this short time, we have bonded with other ICU parents and it is going to be very hard to come home, but for the sake of the clinic, and the Mission God has called us to, we must. I'm not sure the IRS would be happy if I didn't pay them on time. We are so glad we extended our trip from 1 week to 10 days. Every day has been an important one..

Just know that we have appreciated the faith of our Christian friends all over the world. Our faith in a Loving God is just as strong as it has ever been. We are also aware that He has a Bigger Plan for Olive's life and He is an ALL KNOWING God who knows what is best for this precious little Girl. Whatever God chooses to do with baby Olive, I am choosing to accept. I personally pray for a miracle every morning when I sing and pray over Olive, but I believe God has a bigger plan than I can see for Olive and we are trying to accept what is best for her life.

Sometimes God gives us what we insist on. But today I choose to ask him for what is best for Olive Hope, not for the Polinders or for the Millers. If you find it in your hearts to pray with us, we would love to have complete healing for our dear Olive Hope, but we also want God's perfect plan for our little Olive Hope, and only our Great, All Powerful, All Loving, and All Knowing God can give that to Olive Hope Polinder today.

Fear of tomorrow kept me from freely touching and holding this precious bundle. It was such a joy to hold this little gift today. And we are so happy the doctor's are giving Baby Olive the colostrum Lynette saved.

This experience has brought me closer to a Loving holy God. I will forever be grateful for having met and touched Olive Hope. And now very soon, we will need to say goodbye to Olive and go back home. Our little grandson's Zion and Tyler have both had birthdays since we are here. Our hearts are with our other grandsons as well. None of our grandchildren live with us, but they are always in our hearts.

Carol

Threads

2009-10-07T06:50:00.005-05:00

The only update I have this morning is this quick update from Lynette: "More difficult news and decisions today. We are hanging on by threads..."

I am asking you to continue to pray. The average daily visits to this blog have more than tripled since the beginning of Olive's story, so I know the need is being heard, and today I encourage you, please don't let this baby's need be a spectator sport. Thank you so much to everyone who has been daily (and more) lifting up little Olive and Lynette and Rusty in prayer. This is what the body of Christ is about. If we ever thought "the church" was about a building, traditions, songs, 'getting our fill' or even a social club, we were wrong. The church is about wrapping ourselves around those in need, and being Christ to them. Today Lynette and Rusty need the Church more than ever.

Insurance Update

2009-10-06T11:24:00.002-05:00

Note from Rusty:

"I, Rusty, just got off the phone with Aetna, and they are raising the level to $25,000. It helps, but it still sucks! Please pray for sleep for Lynette and I. Love you all."

Rough Day for Olive & Insurance Issues

2009-10-06T06:49:00.002-05:00

Below are the latest updates from Lynette. They need our prayers just as much now as they did days ago.

Dear friends and family,

Each day we feel like Jesus has given us just enough strength to get through the day...today is a day where I feel like I'm on the verge of breaking down with each new piece of news the doctors give us.

We arrived this morning to the hospital to find out that after a chest x-ray last night they found infiltrates in Olive's lungs, and they diagnosed her with pneumonia. She has also lost her bowel sounds and has been having quite a bit of gastric residual in her stomach so they have stopped giving her colostrum until her little digestive system starts up again.

Her WBC count has increased...most likely due to the infection in her lungs.

This morning we started making phone calls to our insurance company (Talent Trust Insurance) which is under Aetna and got a return phone call that they have looked over her information and talked on the phone with our neonatologist and brain surgeon. The insurance company thinks we need to move Olive to a private hospital in Bangkok ASAP, and both doctors agree that she is stable enough and would recommend this as well. They would pay for her to be flown with a medical team to this top children's hospital.

However, they are telling us that the cap for coverage for newborn care is 10,000 US dollars...which is RIDICULOUS. That will barely cover her for three days down there at this other hospital. We have been on the phone with insurance ALL day so far and Rusty is finally talking to the top supervisors who know all about our situation and will make a decision if she will be fully covered or not around 4 this afternoon. Our medivac team is on hold until we find out if she will be covered by insurance and if they tell us she is covered she will be transfered most likely tomorrow. If she is not covered we will be staying here at our current hospital.

We are at the end of ourselves today...I'm so worried about the infections in her little body...and then to add the stress of a transfer...and an imminent surgery. Everything feels out of our own control. We are waiting for an answer and praying for peace to surround us in the midst of this chaos and worry. We know Jesus has a plan...it has just been a day where trusting that plan feels more difficult. No matter the outcome we will continue to serve Him...the one who entrusted Olive to us as a gift.

Thank-you for your prayers.

Love,

Lynette

**********

Dear friends and family,

I just got off the phone with Rusty. Insurance will only pay for the medivac team and not more than 10,000 US dollars above that. For now we will be staying at Chiang Rai Regional Hospital and looking into options. Feeling in shock about this insurance coverage. Can't even wrap my mind around the person who wrote that policy.

Love,

Lynette

Update from Olive's Ultrasound and CT Scan...

2009-10-05T18:29:00.002-05:00

Friends, Thank you so much for your prayers for Olive. Feel free to leave a note here for Lynette & Rusty, a prayer, or a few words of encouragement. I would be happy to pass them along. We all know how words of encouragement can be just the light we need in the darkness.

***********

Update from Lynette:

Dear friends and family,

We had a very intense day today and are feeling pretty drained. This morning Olive had an ultrasound of her brain to assess if there was any further bleeding, or an increase in fluid around the brain. The results showed that there has been no additional bleeding. However, the area with the bleeding has not absorbed back into the circulation of the brain causing an obstruction in the cerebral spinal fluid. This increase in fluid around the brain (hydrocephalus) is causing some pressure on the brain, as well as an increase in her head circumference. After the ultrasound this morning the brain surgeon decided to send Olive for a CT Scan of the brain to see more clearly what is going on. The CT scan confirmed what they had seen in the ultrasound.

The doctor told us that the treatment will be to place a temporary shunt/drain into her head to remove some of this fluid. He says there is a small chance that it could resolve on its own if her body would absorb the blood from the hemorrhage, but he suggested getting arrangements in place for surgery in case that becomes the only option. The good news is that because her head is so soft, and her fontanels haven't yet closed it will allow her head circumference to increase and make room for this fluid...and the brain surgeon said it is not an emergency surgery, but suggested within the next week or so we would take action.

Currently Olive has an infection in her blood, though she received antibiotics for it. We will wait to see the results of her CBC (Complete Blood Count) tomorrow to see if her WBC (white blood cell) count has gone down at all, which would show a decrease in infection in her body. Worries from the doctor about giving her this shunt are that she has such weak immune system, she is only 1.295 kg, and fears of using anesthesia for a pre-term 28 week old baby. There is of course an increase in the risk of infection with any surgery.

Good news for the day...her bilirubin levels have dropped and she is no longer under photo-therapy. She continues to do well on the colostrum and day by day they have been increasing her intake. Today she was only receiving 21-25% oxygen. Her heart rate and blood oxygen level remained stable all day. They have also changed the ventilator settings to make her use her little lungs more and she is adjusting well and making good progress.

Tomorrow we will be writing up reports of all of her treatments, diagnosis, and test results and making phone calls to doctors here in Thailand, as well as neonatologists and brain surgeons we have been recommended to contact by our friends and families in the States. We will then be trying to figure out where the best place for her treatment will be, and finding a neurosurgeon who has had experience placing shunts in pre-term babies...as well as finding anesthesiologists who have experience with pre-term babies. Pray for wisdom as we make these decisions.

We have also been trying to sort out lots of details with our insurance, so please pray for this as well.

We are so thankful to have my mom and dad here during this time and for all of the love and support they are giving us. Our dear friend Ghan also stayed with us all day helping us with translating during our meetings with the neonatologist and brain surgeon. Bethany and Libby have been so helpful in so many ways too. Sherry Palsrok is also here as a support which has meant a lot to us. I could keep going and mentioning those in this community who have been so thoughtful during this time but my list would get too long for tonight.

We want to thank so many of you who spent time in prayer for Olive this morning. We continue to ask Jesus to touch her little body...to fight against infection, and to protect her brain despite these complications. We also have been thankful for the good signs we are seeing with her respiratory system and digestive system. We continue to have hope for this little one...

Much love,

Lynette

Update and New Prayer Requests for Olive

2009-10-04T16:13:00.004-05:00

Update from Lynette 10/4/09:

Olive continues to respond well to colostrum. Today she remained stable. Her WBCs have increased showing more infection in her little body. Please pray for this. Also tomorrow she will have another ultrasound to assess the brain hemorrhage another time. We are feeling anxious as we head to bed for the decisions that will need to be made in the morning.

Note from Lynette 10/3/09:

Dear friends and family,

We continue to be overwhelmed by the number of people praying for Olive and us during this time. I'm not sure if I have ever sensed Christ's body around the world coming together to pray for someone. Daily we are overwhelmed to tears while reading e-mails, prayers, poems, and words of encouragement from close friends and even strangers. We have churches praying for Olive all over the US, Canada, Nepal, Akha villages here in Thailand, the underground church in Vietnam, churches in Korea, churches on the Navajo reservation in New Mexico, England...and the list continues. Friends of mine who haven't prayed in months or years have been praying for her numerous times a day.

The week has been the biggest emotional rollar coaster we have ever experienced. At the beginning of the week we were talking with the doctors about letting her go, for fear of her little body suffering so much...and then we saw answers to prayers and her condition improving little by little each day. She had every complication in the book, and yet her condition continues to stabilize. She is continuing to respond well to the colostrum, and today the doctor increased her intake to 1 cc/6 times a day. She had another stool today which is evidence that her little digestive system is working well. Her platelet count is normal, as well as her hematocrit and hemoglobin. Her bilirubin levels continue to drop. She has retained the ability to blink and close her eyes as she sleeps. Today they had her on room air for most of the day (21% oxygen)...and receiving 25% for part of the day, and her O2 blood saturation levels remained between 89-96% which is great news.

The current concern is that each day her head circumference continues to increase little by little. Tomorrow morning at 9:00 am (Sunday evening for those of you in the States) we have another ultrasound on her brain to assess the current state of swelling. How I understand it is that with the bleeding she experienced in her brain, her little head is compensating for that increase in space and expanding to reduce the pressure. After the ultrasound in the morning we will sit down to have a meeting with the brain surgeon, neonatologist, and another specialist. We will then talk about the next step in planning for her treatment...if the hospital here is adequate to care for her or if we will need to transfer her to another hospital in Chiang Mai, Bangkok, or the States if she is stable enough.

We are feeling anxious about the ultrasound in the morning, and would ask your prayers for us. Pray against infection for Olive as she is transported to the ultrasound room. We are in a hospital overwhelmed by patients over flowing into the hallways where we walk through to get to the ultrasound room.

We have grown to really love and respect the nurses caring for Olive. They have been so attentive to her needs, and we have much trust in their wisdom in caring for her. We have also grown to trust the doctor caring for her.

Culturally here in Thailand children with disabilities are looked down upon. I remember volunteering at an orphanage outside of Bangkok eight years ago and watching monks come and visit the hundreds of mentally handicapped children and tell them, "If you do better in this life, your next life will be better." Earlier this week our doctor, Thai friend, and two nurses sat us down for a meeting and asked if we wanted to go ahead and give Olive platelets that she needed and a new antibiotic, or if we would like to withhold the treatment and "let her go." They all encouraged us to "let her go" and withhold the treatment and said she would have about a week before her little body would shut down. They told us that if she survives and is handicapped and possibly blind it would be unfair to her. We cried a lot during that meeting, prayed, and went with our hearts....to continue treatment and commit to caring for her...unless we come to a point where we feel her little body can't undergo any more aggressive treatment.

We go through our days asking for more miracles...more healing of damaged cells, and quality of life for this little one.

Love,

Lynette and Rusty

--This song has been on my mind all day..."You are Still Holy" by Kari Jobe

Holy, You are still holy even when the darkness surrounds my life
Sovereign, You are still sovereign even when confusion has blinded my eyes

And Lord I don't deserve Your kind affection
When my unbelief has kept me from Your touch
I want my life to be a pure reflection of Your love

And so I come into your chambers and I dance at your feet Lord
You are my Savior and I'm at Your mercy
All that has been in my life up till now belongs to You
You are still holy.

Holy, You are still holy even when I don't understand your ways
Sovereign, you are still sovereign even when my circumstances don't change
And Lord I don't deserve Your kind affection
When my unbelief has kept me from Your touch
I want my life to be a pure devotion to You.

Answered Prayers for Olive Hope

2009-10-02T11:12:00.005-05:00

Here are updates on sweet Baby Olive Hope from the last two days. I am so excited to hear today's news! This is has been exactly my prayer! THANK YOU for joining with us in prayer for this precious one. God is not finished.

10/1/09
Much better day. Olive was very happy to meet her Grandpa and Grandma Miller. She was very responsive today. She does have swelling in her brain, and we are concerned so please just pray that God will continue to heal her. Lynette slept for 10 hours ...and is now with Olive. I used to think facebook was a waste of my time, but now im so thankful for it! You have been our strength friends and family! Rustin

10/2/09
Today Olive regained the ability to blink and could sleep with her little eyes closed. She also had one stool and had bowel sounds!!!! She will undergo another ultrasound of her brain on Monday to assess if she has had any more bleeding. Her head circumference is growing, so please pray for this. I have a cold so was not able to hold her for the last two days...please pray for my health.

A Note for Olive (from her mommy)

Oh my little Olive...you are so precious to me. Your little toes to your chin-and those tiny little fingernails. Every part of you was perfectly formed. I am heartbroken to not have you inside of me where you belong right now...getting your nourishment from my body rather than from this IV hanging next to your little isolate.

I can't stop thinking about you when I am near you or away. I pray each day that Jesus would be the hands holding you close when I'm unable to. Today I've been feeling sick so I'm scared to get close to you, but everything in me wants to be holding you close to me and singing to you.

Olive there are so many people praying for you around the world. So many people bringing requests to the FAther that your little body would continue to be renewed and restored. I am praying for a release of pressure on your little brain, for the swelling to decrease, and for the damaged cells and blood vessels to be made new and healthy. I've also been praying that your precious little eyelids would be able to close--and today they did!!! You were opening and closing your little eyes intentionally.

The nurses heard bowel sounds over the last two shifts and I was told this morning that you had a stool. I almost jumped on the doctor when she told me because I was so excited. The doctor says that when you stop having gastric contents come out of your ng tube that they can give you some colostrum that I have frozen. Today you only had a little come out this morning...

I am hoping and longing for the day when I can cuddle with you in my own bed...without all of these tubes coming out of you...and give you the milk my body has been making for you. I am dreaming of the day when I will be able to hear your little lungs breathing on their own...to hear the sound of your little cry.

Grandma and Grandpa Miller are here now and have already fallen in love with you. Grandma has even been trying to give you little foot treatments which we are not surprised about. :>)

Bethany, Libby, Jan, Janya, Sherry, Grandma, Grandpa, Daddy and I have been taking turns sitting next to you so that you don't feel alone...and so that your mother can rest knowing someone will call me if you are having any problems. The nurses here are taking such good care of you. I told them your name yesterday and they told me that they call you "Lucy." I laughed when I heard that, but still think its pretty cute.

You are my little love, my little Olive Hope and I hope you can sense how loved you are.

Bethany gave me these verses yesterday that we taped onto your bed and I have been reading them over and over.

"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make [Olive] dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8

"...He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed He who watches over [Olive] will neither slumber nor sleep." Psalm 3:4

Prayer for Olive Hope

2009-09-29T20:55:00.012-05:00

I am asking your to pray for an old friend, Lynette, and her baby girl, Olive Hope. Lynette and I traveled on a ministry team together across the U.S. years ago. On Friday, Sweet Olive Hope Polinder was born prematurely at only 28.5 weeks in Chiang Rai, Thailand where her parents, Rusty and Lynette are now missionaries. In addition to being being born premature in an area with limited medical care, Olive has suffered a level 4 (most severe) intracranial brain hemorrhage. People around the world are praying for this little one as she fights to live. Please join with us.

Psalm 52:8-9
"But I am like an OLIVE tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever. I will praise you forever for what you have done; in your name I will HOPE, for your name is good. I will praise you in the presence of your saints."

Below is a letter from Lynette that can help direct our prayers:

Dear loved ones,

Yesterday was such a special day. We were both able to spend hours holding little Olive on our chests spending time talking to her and singing over her, We have been overwhelmed by the e-mails, phone calls, facebook messages, and visitors. We are being held up by the prayers of so many we know and love, and also by many who have heard the news who we don't even know personally.

Today has been like each day so far since little Olive Hope has arrived...filled with moments of joy, moments of fear, moments of uncertainty, sadness, hope and thankfulness.

This morning she had an ultrasound done to assess the level of intracranial hemorrhage that she had the other night. There are four levels--one being the least severe with little long term complications and four being the most serious and highest risk of long term complications. Olive had a level four intracranial hemorrhage. The doctors are telling us that if she makes it she will certainly have serious cognitive and motor damage..(mentally handicapped, cerebral palsy...and the list could go on). There is also a high risk of blindness due to the high concentrations of oxygen they have had to keep her on. She is also still anemic so she is getting blood transfusions. And this morning she was very jaundiced so we had to keep her under a photo-therapy light most of the day. Because of her brain damage she is no longer able to blink her little eyes. They remain open ALL the time unless we reach and blink them for her. They only have her on IV so far and say she can't have any breast milk until they hear bowel sounds. My milk has come in, so as of now I have been pumping and storing it in the freezer.

Our hearts are aching for this little one. We are willing and ready to care for a little girl with handicaps if Jesus chooses to give her to us. Part of us is also hoping and longing to see a miracle. Another part of us feels very afraid...of all the unknowns to come. She has had every possible complication and to the most severe level thus far...and yet there is something in me that keeps holding onto some sort of hope. And another part of me that doesn't want her little body to suffer any longer. Thoughts are going and coming in all directions.

We have been asked today if we want them to continue aggressive treatment measures, or if we would like to stop those treatments and simply let her go. Yesterday I thought we were feeling ready to let her go because of how much misery she was going through...and now we have been through two days of holding her and seeing her vital signs increase...and I'm not ready yet to let her go.

All this to say...decision making has felt difficult, but today has been a day when I am going to bed with hope for life for this little one...

And just enough strength to make it through this day by threads. And exhausted.

Jesus has indeed been drawing us closer and closer to Him through this journey...our only place to find any hope in this circumstance.

We can feel your love and support all around us.

Love,

Lynette

‘Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus… Waiting on God’s Goodness

2009-09-13T08:05:00.009-05:00

Sometimes we get stuck in this self-defeating mindset of “waiting around.” All we can think about is how we’re waiting for God to do this, waiting for God to do that… waiting, waiting, waiting… poor pitiful us.

I certainly don’t think waiting is always a bad thing. In fact, I would call it a skill, even a discipline. But it is only such when our hearts are expectant of God’s move. Wait in misery, and we find ourselves doubting that God will ever show his face. But wait in faith, and there is hope. I’m a firm believer in the concept “You can’t walk in hope if you’re thinking in defeat.”

When I read Isaiah 30:18 today, I realized we’re not the only ones waiting… God waits too.

God's not finished. He's waiting around to be gracious to you. He's gathering strength to show mercy to you. God takes the time to do everything right—everything. Those who wait around for him are the lucky ones. (The Message)

God is not afraid of waiting. He’s not afraid to take his time. And he is certainly ok with waiting on us if it means we will eventually see his face.

What good news. He was waiting on me long before I was ever waiting on Him. If I’m worth waiting on, so is He.

Waiting on God brings to mind the story of Louisa Stead and her famous hymn, ‘Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus…

As the story goes, Louisa Stead had always felt a calling to be a missionary and go to China. But due to fragile health she was kept home in the US. She married Mr. Stead and had a daughter named Lily. When Lily was 4 yrs old the family went on vacation to a nearby beach. While there, relaxing and enjoying their vacation, they saw a young boy drowning in the ocean. Mr. Stead swam out and tried to rescue him, only he was pulled under by the boy and both Mr. Stead and the boy drowned as Louisa and her daughter watched from shore. Louisa was left without any means of support except for God's care. She and her daughter were in dire poverty - one day when there was no food in the house and no money to purchase any, Louisa opened the front door to find someone had left groceries and money sitting there for her. That same day she sat down and wrote "Tis so Sweet to Trust in Jesus...". She later became a missionary to Africa, remarried and once again was forced to stay in the US due to her health. But once recovered she went back into the missionary field in Rhodesia and later died in Zimbabwe. Her daughter Lily married and became a missionary as well.

(above story courtesy of Hope Chest Legacy)

(sung by Casting Crowns)

’Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus

(1) 'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at his word,
Just to rest upon His promise,
Just to know, "Thus saith the Lord."

CHORUS:
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more.

(2) How I love to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood,
Just in simply faith to plunge me
'Neath the healing, cleansing flood!

(3) Yes, I've learned to trust in Jesus,
And from sin and self to cease.
Now from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest and joy and peace.

(4) I'm so glad I learned to trust Him,
precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that He is with me,
He'll be with me to the end.

rare & beautiful treasures

2009-09-03T19:45:00.006-05:00

Sometimes we all need a deep breath of fresh air. Sometimes we need a word encouragement. And sometimes we just need to be reminded of the simple beauty in life. If today is one of those days, I have just the oasis for you: Rare & Beautiful Treasures is a light in the darkness, a refreshing breath, and beautifully written by my dear friend. I promise she won't disappoint.

Sunday on Monday: love never fails

2009-08-31T21:09:00.008-05:00

Jason just finished a series called “Agape,” and yesterday’s sermon was a discussion about how love never fails:

Love never fails to protect.
Love never fails to believe.
Love never fails to bring hope.
Love never fails to endure.

We reflected on how God didn’t fail to protect Adam and Eve in the garden, when he clothed them after their sin and new-found shame (Genesis 3:21). We talked about the father of the prodigal son, and how he watched for his son, believing for his return (Luke 15: 11-32), and the woman caught in the act of adultery, torn from her bed and shamed before an accusing crowd. Love paved the way for new hope as her tormentors dropped their stones (John 8). And finally, we talked about the ways that love endures. When we look at 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, we read about how we are to love:

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

But what happens when we switch out “love” with our own name?

Betsy is patient, Betsy is kind. Betsy does not envy……

Immediately, we become a liar. We are not patient. We are not kind. We are jealous, boastful, proud, rude, selfish, and angry. We want revenge more than truth, and we are far from protecting anyone but ourselves.

I am reminded of times when I want to keep one foot in the kingdom of self while awkwardly attempting to plant the other in the kingdom of God. Inevitably, the kingdom of self draws me in, and it is at those times that I find myself trapped behind self-constructed walls of anger, jealousy, bitterness, and spite. Disguised as self-preservation or even personal justification, the construction of such walls causes us to lose touch with our vulnerability, and ultimately, our true identity and purpose: we were created to love as Christ loved.

Only when these walls come crumbling down are we able to find our true selves again. But the crumbling process is often painful, and few choose to endure it. It is painful to see the monumental facade we have so carefully constructed being shattered in useless, futile pieces. Afraid of what we might find, we are quick to hide our faces from seeing what is exposed once the walls have fallen. And when we peek through our hands as the dust settles, we see that the love of Christ endures, and we are loved beyond comparison. We find the beauty that exists in the deepest parts of all of us—the love of God in its purest form. When it is no longer obstructed by fear, hiding, pride, or shame, it radiates.

Wall art courtesy of hopeink.

Great Is Thy Faithfulness

2009-08-19T20:07:00.011-05:00

I really do love hymns. I love to hear their stories. They remind me that I'm not alone in this journey.

I am sure of God's faithfulness today because I have seen that the God who created my body is the God who can heal it. The God who formed the very fibers of my heart is the God who can mend it. The God who wove the tapestry of my life and yours is the God who can infuse us with strength and renewal. The God who granted humankind mercy 2000 years ago on the cross is the same God who grants us new mercies each morning. And the God who brings seasons of drought is the same God who will transition that drought into new life.

And so He has.

While many hymns are born out of a particular dramatic experience, this hymn was simply the result of the author’s morning by morning realization of God’s personal faithfulness.

Thomas Obadiah Chisholm was born in a log cabin in Kentucky. Without the benefit of high school or advanced training, he began his career as a school teacher at the age of sixteen, in the same country schoolhouse where he had received his elementary training.

When he was twenty-one, he became the associate editor of his home town weekly newspaper, The Franklin Favorite. Six years later he accepted Christ as his personal Savior during a revival meeting.

Later Chisholm was ordained to the Methodist ministry but was forced to resign after a brief pastorate because of poor health. Chisholm retired in 1953 and spent his remaining years at the Methodist Home for the Aged, in Ocean Grove, New Jersey.

In a letter dated 1941, Mr. Chisholm wrote; “My income has not been large at any time due to impaired health in the earlier years which has followed me until now, although I must not fail to record the unfailing faithfulness of a covenant-keeping God, for which I am filled with astonishing gratefulness.”

Great Is Thy Faithfulness

(1) Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father!
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not:
As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be.

(2) Great is Thy faithfulness, great is Thy faithfulness,
morning by morning new mercies I see;
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided-
Great is Thy faithfulness, lord, unto me!

(3) Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon, and stars in their courses above,
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy, and love.

(4) Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth,
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide,
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow-
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

thirty

2009-08-17T19:34:00.006-05:00

My husband turned 30 on Sunday. Dun-da-dahhhh... The big 3-0. And although I’ve only known him a fraction of his first 30 years, there are already so many things that draw me to him, that make me proud to be his wife. So, if you don’t already know my husband, here’s a glimpse into some of my favorite things about him. Happy Birthday, Jason Michael Davis. You’re my favorite.

Jason doesn’t have a sarcastic bone in his body (which I find admirable, coming from one of the queens of sarcasm and knowing that it is often used to disguise things we wouldn’t otherwise say). You can trust that what comes out of his mouth is truly what he is thinking or perceiving in that moment, and nothing else.

Even as a little guy, he was determined to fight for justice and for the protection of those he loves. He may have become quite familiar with the school principal, but he wasn’t afraid to speak his mind or to stand up for what is right.

Jason forgives. I have never met anyone who is so able to take the teaching of Jesus to “turn the other cheek” quite like Jason can. I’ve seen him take emotional and verbal beatings from people ranging from angry strangers to fellow leaders in ministry, and in the face of it all, he turns the other cheek and confesses love. When most of us would fight back with spitting words and fuming bitterness (and maybe even physical harm), Jason isn’t afraid to love the unlovable.

Jason is one of the hardest workers I know. What I admire most about his hard work is that he doesn’t just put all of his effort into his “job.” He puts just as much work into our marriage, his friendships, and our family relationships. He places such a high value on people, and feels not only the desire, but a deep sense of responsibility to live in love and as a good steward of the people and responsibilities in his life, both inside of formal ministry and out.

Jason is not afraid to admit when he is wrong. In relationships, he sees no value in being “right,” and instead seeks understanding and peace. One of the biggest challenges to this is when the other party does not place the same value on understanding, and yet even in those moments, he is capable of maintaining an objective eye. I am challenged by, and have such a deep respect for Jason because of his capability to say when he has been wrong. It is one thing to know it; it is another to confess it.

Jason does everything with his whole heart. He takes no shortcuts, and accepts nothing less than excellence from himself.

Jason loves vanilla ice cream. Kind of a silly reason to love him, right? But his love of vanilla ice cream is an example of how much he finds pure joy in simple things. He is not extravagant or discontent in nature. Jason finds happiness in the most simple things in life, and works hard to take nothing for granted.

In all reality, this list could go on for quite sometime. I really do have a great husband. His parents, and mine, have a great son. Our siblings have a great brother. Our church has a great pastor. One day, our children will have a great father.

Jason, you should be proud of the man your first 30 years have made you. I sure am proud to be your Mrs.

The Inevitable Question

2009-07-29T10:50:00.012-05:00

Well, it happened. Again.

The inevitable question came up last night. You pastor's wives know what I'm talking about... It's the question that would make us rich if we had a penny for every time someone asked it (hey, I've only been a pastor's wife for 16 months and I think at that rate, I could be taking a vacation).

Conversation begins, continues, discussion of husband's job ensues. "Oh, a Pastor? That's great...."

And then..... right on cue:

"So, what do you do in the church?"

Silence.

"Do you sing? Do you do the kid's stuff?"

Silence. This time trying not to laugh.

**********************************************************************

Time out. Let's just say for moment that I did do either or both of those things, (which I don't). I still find it completely irritating that not only is that the first question asked when people learn that I'm "the Pastor's wife," but also that it's assumed that those are the roles (along with many others that no one speaks of) for any wife-o-the-pastor. A pastor's wife who leads worship or teaches children's church is a great asset, but no more an asset than anyone else in the church taking that role. In fact, I would dare to say that a majority of churches need their members to step up and quit relying on their pastor, board, and wives to do the work of the church. But that's another post for another day. Back to my silence.

**********************************************************************

I had to keep my mouth shut, for two reasons:

1. This poor girl didn't know any better than to ask what she did.

2. What I really wanted to say was something along the lines of...

What do I do? Well, I am the one who encourages my husband after his sermons and acknowledge the hours upon hours of work he puts into his studies for the benefit of people who find it more important to complain that he wears jeans or doesn't talk about hell enough (creepy) or that he should do this or that or this. I hug him when he is overwhelmed and can't sleep from the pressure of lifting a church out of the sinking mud and turning it into something full of life, or when someone berates him for "not being there" for them because we needed a weekend away (to celebrate our anniversary no less). I also play the role of a sounding board when he gets so angry and hurt over individuals too wrapped up in a power play to acknowledge and respect his leadership and decision making ability, and I encourage him to follow his heart when he has the make tough decisions that some people will never agree with. I walk the lonely road with my husband, and walks the same with me. We face disappointment together when people back out of their commitments to bear some of the load. I pat him on the back when people show up at our doorstep on his "day off" (which is inevitable, when over 100 people know where you live). We do it because we love it, and more than that, because my husband has a Call on his life, and we as a team have a purpose in the big picture... but that doesn't mean it's not work.

I didn't say any of that. I just said, "I'm a member of the church, and I help where I'm needed. Besides, you haven't heard me sing."

(Time Magazine wrote a great article on Pastor's wives, you can read it here).

It is Well with My Soul

2009-07-27T21:02:00.003-05:00

I love this hymn, and I've loved it even more ever since I heard the story behind its writing.

Horatio Spafford was a lawyer of some prominence in Chicago. He and his wife Anna had one son and four daughters, and were good friends of D.L. Moody and Ira Sankey for many years. Mr. Spafford's children had come to Christ through the influence of Ira Sankey's music and efforts with the children of Chicago. Shortly before the Great Chicago Fire of October 8th, 1871, the Spafford's son died and the family went into deep mourning. After the fire ravaged the city, Mr. Spafford found himself financially ruined. He had invested heavily in downtown Chicago real estate, which was now gone. He and his wife turned to the people of the city, helping to minister to those who were homeless and in desperate need.

After two years of ministering to the people of Chicago, Mr. Spafford thought his family needed a vacation. D. L. Moody and Ira Sankey were in England holding evangelical meetings and bringing countless thousands to Christ. Mr. Spafford decided to take his family to England, where they could vacation and also be a help to his friends Moody and Sankey.

Mr. Spafford booked passage for his family on the ship SS Ville de Havre, but at the last minute was unable to go with his family due to business. He promised to follow them within a few weeks and they would all be reunited in England.

As the ship sailed across the Atlantic Ocean, it collided with the English ship Lochearn, and iron sailing vessel. On November 22, 1873, the SS Ville de Havre sank within 12 minutes. 226 lives were lost, including the four Spafford daughters. Mrs. Spafford was rescued from a floating piece of debris. When she arrived in Wales 10 days later she cabled a message to her husband, "Saved Alone..."

Mr. Spafford booked passage on the next ship heading to England. As the ship crossed the area where the SS Ville de Havre sank, taking his precious daughters to the ocean's depths, Mr. Spafford felt the Holy Spirit fill him with a comforting peace. Leaving the ship's railing he went into his cabin where he penned the Hymn that has soothed so many souls who have been brokenhearted...

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

By Horatio Spafford (1828 - 1888)

from Hope Chest Legacy

Sunday on Monday: Go

2009-07-27T06:47:00.002-05:00

Jason taught the final message in a series called “Disciple” yesterday. This series has been a challenge to our church to redefine what it means to be a follower of Christ. In short, it's a move away from defining oneself as a “Christian” in light of church attendance and rules to taking on the life of a true disciple, a follower of Jesus, a pursuer of the heart of God.

In previous weeks we determined that disciples touch lepers, befriend prostitutes, and offend Pharisees. Disciples also “go fishing” or make other disciples, they wash the feet of others, break bread with others… Do you see a pattern here? Relationship.

Disciples share life. And they share Christ.

The finale of this series took to heart the last command that Christ made before he ascended into heaven: “Go and make disciples of all nations…” (Matthew 28:19)

The very last thing that Jesus said to His disciples was to GO. The Greek, poreuomai, literally means to travel, to depart. It means to take a journey. A disciple goes out, which is interesting when you consider the American church model. The American church is so consumed with getting people in their doors. “Let’s do whatever we can to get people to COME!” The productions, the plays, the concerts, door hangers and fliers, Vacation Bible School… While all of these things are beneficial in purpose, anyone who sneeks a peek behind the board room doors knows that they are also utilized by churches to draw families into their sanctuaries.

Perhaps the challenge for the American church, for you and I, is not to get people to come, but to go to them. “They” are everywhere. Who are “they?” They are the neighbor who has suffered a terrible loss, the co-worker who can’t put food on the table, the family member you have written off, the friend who needs you to forgive, and the one who needs your apology. Now that you have been sent out, they are all around you, and they were meant to be a part of your journey.

Where has Christ asked you to go? Or better yet, to whom has he sent you?

Recap: Lady's Lizard

2009-07-18T21:44:00.006-05:00

Today Jason and I taught a leadership class for new leaders of the LIFEgroups we are launching in the fall. The concept of these LIFEgroups (or small groups if you will) is completely foreign to much of our church community, and creates the perfect opportunity to reiterate the mission statement of our church:

Find God. Together. Reach Lives.

I'd have to say that my favorite part of the conversation was the discussion on how the early church wasn't something people went to- it was a way of living in relationship, with God and with others.

I wrote some time ago about my dog and her lizard friend... and how I was reminded of my responsibility to take others to the feet of God (you can read the original post here):

Today would probably have to qualify as one of the most beautiful days of the year. Taking full advantage of the clear skies, light breeze, and radiant sunshine, I was outside walking and playing fetch with Lady, my puppy. There is a large grassy area with a big hill right behind where I live, and it is one of Lady’s favorite spots to run and play. Several days ago, Lady found a dried up dead lizard in her “play yard,” and proudly brought it to me clenched in her tiny jaws. Disgusted, I made her drop it and took her to another part of the hill to play. The next day as we were out walking, Lady found her lizard friend again, and smugly brought it once more to my feet. Still grossed out at this stiff, desiccated reptile, I once again let out an “Eeeewww!” and we promptly retreated to another part of the field, leaving behind her dead and shriveled friend.

Well, Lady is a persistent little girl. She is 3 pounds of pure energy and determination. So, of course, when we went out to play today (hundreds of yards from the last spotting of her reptile friend, mind you), Lady once again made her way to her lizard. Shocked that she found this one tiny little lizard in the midst of the huge field, all I could think was “For the love of God, how do you keep finding this guy?!”

As gross as that lizard is to me, I got to thinking that for Lady, it is just in her nature to hunt and sniff out things like that. That is what she will always do. It is her instinct to sniff out and track down things that are dead, that are dirty, and she will for the rest of her life bring those dead and dirty things to my feet in pride.

Perhaps Lady isn’t so different from each of us. As Christians, isn’t it supposed to be a part of our nature to go seeking out the spiritually dead and wounded? It is far too often that we stumble upon people who desperately need Christ, and instead of proudly taking them to the feet of God, we grimace and cry out a prideful “Eeeewww!” as we leave their desperate and withered souls in the dust.

How quickly we forget that God is in the business of bringing life into dead things. May we always take the dried up and dead, the lost and missing, to His feet.

Late

2009-07-14T19:38:00.012-05:00

Today was one of those days… you know, the kind of day where you are just certain that five more precious minutes of sleep will be just what you need to spring out of bed in glee, ready to approach to the waiting world. “Just… five… more… minutes…”

I am not a morning person. I am a wanna-be. I get up with my husband at 5 a.m. and hit the gym (on a good day), but let me assure you, I do not speak at that insane hour of the morning. And lest you assume I must therefore be a night owl, let me also clarify: I am not. I would be perfectly happy if my life allowed me to go to bed at 10 and wake up on my own (sans alarm) at 7 a.m. every morning. Something about a beautiful nine hours of sleep free of a wretched alarm clock… my body craves it.

Back to my five minutes.

I’d be fooling you to say it really was only five minutes. It was several desperate five minute post-waking naps before I finally hauled myself out of bed and into the shower (no gym, my five minutes lasted too long). It was a battle of the minds to stay awake as I initiated my morning routine of sipping coffee while watching my favorite cable news network for the nation’s happenings and for any sign of my dear friend and favorite correspondent, Carine-Bean.

When I finally made it out the door, my 8 mile commute was abruptly interrupted with bumper to bumper traffic. This is not unusual in the Chicagoland. My daily 8 mile journey takes an average of 25 to 30 minutes each day. But today was different: I was late! I had no time for traffic! Someone forgot to send the memo, and I was ticked.

I decided promptly that I would not let the traffic get the better of me, and like any intelligent person, I turned off onto an innocent side street. I sailed for about a quarter of a mile before I was brought to a screeching halt.

Train.

Not just any train.

Slowest......... Longest......... Train......... Ever.

Seriously?!?

Teeth clenched, arms crossed, and lips pursed, I sat waiting for a morning’s portion of eternity until the train passed. Then, because we hadn’t been waiting long enough I suppose, “friendly driver guy” ahead of me decided to let every car from the cross street in front of us into the line of traffic ahead of him. You know the guy I’m talking about, (and yes, he was very kind, but he didn’t get the memo either). I AM LATE BUDDY! And we have stop signs for traffic regulation, so enough with your friendly antics!

I was in rare form. (And by this time, I was certain I could have made it to work in a more timely fashion had I just sat in the traffic jam). The traffic, train and friendly driver guy had ruined my morning. Or had they?

Oops.

It’s never fun when our own choices come back to bite us. Not only was I not the best version of myself this morning, I was the perpetrator of my own tardiness (you already knew that, I know), and it was up to me to deal with it. Not the most advanced lesson in life, but it got me thinking about how quick we can be to hold out anger and frustration at others for situations that are actually a beast of our own making.

A relevant reminder, and a lesson in ownership for sure. Of course, if I’d had just five more minutes of sleep, I probably would have been fine.

Psalm 139:1-18

2009-07-11T21:32:00.005-05:00

This is what was on my mind today, as I sat on the beach, marveling at God's over-the-top creation, warm sand in my toes...

1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake, I am still with you.

Recap: Freedom Found Me

2009-07-09T21:31:00.004-05:00

I originally posted the following thoughts on a blog I used to write on quite regularly (that is, until I met the man of my dreams and spent the wee hours of the night with him instead of my computer screen... and since have lost the log-in for said blog). Leaving behind the 4th of July holiday brought me back to these very thoughts, originally captured on July 4, 2006.

As I prepare for an evening of fun on this 4th of July holiday, I can’t help but think about the freedom I have found in my own life. I am so glad that I celebrate and step into new realms of freedom more than once a year on a blazing summer day.

Freedom may not always appear as booming displays of sparkling and radiant color lighting up the night sky, and it is not always choreographed to the tune of songs we wish to hear—but God alone is the author of true freedom, and I count it an honor to be a part of His story.

Freedom has found me like a hero in the night over and over again. It found me when I was hopeless; it found me when I had walked away from all things true; it found me on the lonely roads of destruction and uncertainty; and it even found me when I had settled for being a captive.

So, I celebrate today like I did yesterday. And I will celebrate again tomorrow. The chains are broken. The walls have crumbled. Freedom has found me.

A Few Rays of Sunshine....

2009-07-09T20:44:00.006-05:00

Ahhhh... springtime, summertime.....

....And family and laughs and loving time...

A cold day in Chicago... perfect for fishies and history.

2009-03-12T18:15:00.004-05:00

Today we took the train into the city and visited Shedd Aquarium and the Field Museum of Natural History. It was bitterly cold outside, and perfect weather for staying inside. We had a great time, and were reminded once again just how creative God is.

Happy Anniversary!

2009-03-11T21:25:00.006-05:00

We had a wonderful celebration of our 1 year anniversary! We met up with my sister and her husband at a lake house in Lake of the Ozarks for an adventurous long weekend getaway. We had a great house with lake front views from every room. We loved our daytime paddle boat and rowboat rides, evenings in the hot tub, sunsets, and waking up to the sunrise sparking on the water.

It was so fun to share such a special weekend with people who are so dear to us. We laughed until we cried, told story after story, shopped till we dropped, did the "Old Time picture" Allison and I have wanted to do forever, and ate good food to no end (Especially our anniversary dinner at Baxter's, overlooking the water... AMAZING). It was a wonderful trip of relaxation and much needed connection. Jason had to drag me away kicking and screaming, and promising we will return! We can't wait to go again! We love you, Allison and Josh! Thank you for being such a staple of support in our lives and our marriage!

A Special Request...

2009-02-18T18:02:00.009-06:00

Because we know that several of our wonderful friends and family use this blog as a way to check in on us and our lives, we wanted to take this opportunity to do a couple of things. First of all, we want to thank you. We truly feel that we have been given the world when it comes to our family and friends. It is because of you that we are encouraged day by day to be who we were created to be. Your smiles, your calls, emails, visits, thoughts and prayers have translated into volumes of fuel for us to press on in this journey… a journey of love, marriage, ministry… of life.

Secondly, we would like to ask you for your prayers. There are very specific things that we are in need of, most of which are emotional and spiritual in nature. While this is in no way an exhaustive list, we appreciate your prayers for the following:

* Continued discernment as to the steps that need to be taken to further develop a relevant and significant model of ministry for this church

* A local network of supportive friends who can share in the "trials" and loneliness of ministry

* Expressed support from the congregation ("Expressed" meaning action in addition to words)

* The heart to say "No." We are learning very quickly how easily offended people will become if we don’t do what they want, go where they want us to go, or do what they want us to do how they want it done.

* Thicker skin. In ministry, the encouragers are few, and the critics many.

* Creative ideas for how to best utilize our resources, both in the church and personally

* Continued health and physical well-being (particularly for Betsy as she undergoes some testing and exams)

* For God’s peace to give us the rest and focus we need to daily lead this church

We are so grateful for you. Thank you for sharing in our journey! We love you.

I Love My Church Paint Day!

2009-02-15T20:34:00.006-06:00

Happy Valentines Day!! We spent the morning and early afternoon of Valentine's Day giving our church a fresh, and much much needed coat of paint. We decided that since Valentine's Day is the infamous day of love, there was no better time to love on our church, and give it a good dose of TLC.

There is still work to be done, but we had a great turn-out and lots of willing and capable hands to help. Of course, as ministry often goes, there are many opinions about this change (among others), but we are committed to being faithful stewards of what God has given us and this church body. The status quo just isn't an option. Knowing that, we have committed to doing the best with what we have where we're at... and for today, that means giving our church a Valentine's dose of LOVE! The rest (critics and all) we will trust to God.

We love our church!

Winter Wonderful

2008-12-08T19:44:00.010-06:00

Here is a brief look at our winter... Including Jason's first real Christmas tree, Christmas with our families, and winter in the Chicagoland.

Pumpkin Day!

2008-10-20T19:09:00.004-05:00

Today, Jason decided we needed to carve pumpkins! It was the perfect fall day today... Brisk, overcast, breezy, and a hint of rain. In fact, I think our quote of the day was "It's beautiful, it's ugly, it's Fall!" It was a great day to enjoy hot chocolate, carve pumpkins, and roast pumpkin seeds. Even Lady and Ozzie liked the taste of pumpkin! Mine is a palm tree and sunburst (very Autumn-esque, I know), and Jason's is... none other than... a Cardinal.

Mom & Dad Davis visit Chicago!

2008-10-19T19:45:00.006-05:00

Jason's parents came to visit this weekend! We had a great time showing them around Chicago. We went to the Lake Michigan lakefront, Wrigley Field (booo Cubs! Go Cards!!), the John Hancock Tower, and Michigan Avenue. We even had an early birthday lunch for me downtown. It was so good to have them here. They got to be at church for Jason's first baby dedication today! We were so excited for them to meet the people at our wonderful church who have been such a huge support to us. It was a great weekend, and we were sad to say goodbye.

Fall in the Chicagoland

2008-10-13T18:33:00.002-05:00

Early Fall Fun

2008-10-06T19:10:00.003-05:00

We have enjoyed getting to know the city a little! Here are some pictures from recent visits to the Museum of Science & Industry and the Lincoln Park Zoo, a free zoo downtown. The zoo was great- the lions were roaring, and the polar bears were playing with us, swimming laps and coming right up to the glass. I even got a high five! We also had a great visit from Dad and Mama C! Their "grandoggies" miss them terribly!

Fall is settling in here, and we are.... well, Jason, is loving it. Betsy is trying to stay warm. The leaves are turning and the nights are cool, and perfect for walks. We plan to have a great fall!

Settling in with the Sista'!

2008-09-13T19:33:00.006-05:00

Allison came to visit us a few weeks ago during our first several days in our new home. We were excited to have her here for Jason's first "official" Sunday as Pastor of Lombard Assembly. We took pictures of him like a kid on his first day of Kindergarten! He's such a good sport. We had a great time shopping, visiting the Hancock Tower, and stuffing her full of the amazing Chicago-land food..... from Portillo's chocolate cake to Oberweis Dairy milkshakes. (Anyone think these sisters have a sweet tooth?) Jason is a huge fan of White Castle, so we girls did our best to support him during an afternoon "Slider Adventure!" They don't call them sliders for nothin' folks....

Happy 29th Birthday Jason!!!

2008-08-18T21:38:00.012-05:00

Saturday was Jason's 29th birthday! We woke up in Kansas City, after a few days with Dad and Connie, and then headed to St. Louis to celebrate with the Davis family.

One thing Jason has talked about since I met him is the fond memory of his dad always making homemade ice cream as he was growing up. He still asks his dad to make it when we go home! I decided that he should have his own homemade ice cream maker so that he can continue and create some of those same great memories for our kids!

Another of our great loves is roller coasters... We planned Monday to go to Six Flags, and drove 40 minutes to discover they were no longer open during the week! It was a very sad moment, but allowed us a full free day to spend with great friends!!

Take me out to the ball game... then take me out with the Miles'

2008-08-17T16:15:00.005-05:00

Our last days before our new life in Chicago included a quick trip to St. Louis for Betsy's very first Cardinal's game, and some quality time with Allison and Josh, who we will miss dearly!!!

The Chicago Area's Newest Pastors!

2008-08-08T22:08:00.004-05:00

The Return to Chicago! Lombard, Here we Come!

2008-07-11T13:52:00.004-05:00

We will be traveling back to the Chicago area July 12-20th. Please pray for us during these nine days as we spend time with the church board, the members, and become more acquainted with the community and the IL District Council of the AG. On this trip, we will receive the vote of the congregation. We are so excited about this transition, and we are grateful for the support of all of you!

Whitsitt Family Fun Day 2008!

2008-07-08T16:11:00.008-05:00

Jason and I just returned from the annual Whitsitt Family Fun Day celebration in Kansas City. We had a great weekend of swimming, backyard ball games, fireworks, and barbeque. Long live WFFD!